One Piece: Kids
by Charlett
Summary: In an Alternate Universe, The Straw Hats live their lives in Grand Line Town! Adventures include Crap Thief, Middle Meets High, Vivi's Bodyguard and Sanji's Birthday.
1. Elementary School

This was a gift to my friend, who was joking about how Sanji's young dub voice was the same as Ash's from Pokemon. We then joked about how he sounded like a bully when he grew up. This is a result of this joking. This is also based off of a Japanese Doujinshi which was about Chopper and Luffy who were in elementary school. I hated it, but decided to give a funny parody story based off of it. Hope you enjoy it, and I hope you don't mind the crappy ending. Alright, READ ON! YOSH!

One Piece: Crap Thief

Chopper, the reindeer who ate the Human Human Devil's Fruit, trotted along to school. His cloths shined, and his backpack was brand new. On his chest was a badge that read "Chopper: First Year Student". The reindeer was going to his first year of school. However, just because it was his first year did not mean this was his first day. No, of course not; he was walking straight to his second day of school. There, he'd meet his new friend, the strange boy who ate the Gomu Gomu Fruit, Monkey D. Luffy.

Luffy had a blast chasing Chopper all over the recess playground yesterday, calling out to him and shouting at the "Raccoon". Luffy never did find out he was really a reindeer. Oh well, he had saved the young reindeer from Buggy the Red Nosed Bully and his two lackeys, Cabaji and Mohji, because he said they were friends. Perhaps tomorrow wouldn't be filled with people trying to flatten him, today.

He rounded the corner to get to the elementary school; by then he had started running at a brisk pace. He was laughing out loud, hoping that today he'd get to know more about Luffy, because there must have been more to the boy than wanting to chase "Raccoons". He was a reindeer, after all!

The boy gave a scream when another boy jumped on top of his back, grinding the reindeer's face into the ground, "Captain!" The boy shouted. He pointed at Chopper, "Captain! I found someone wandering on our territory!"

"Yosh!" The captain replied. He seemed to be about Luffy's age. Maybe they were in the same class? The captain turned to the two boys on the ground, and rubbed his extremely long nose, "You do realize, Raccoon, that you're on the Great Captain Usopp-Sama's territory, right? RIGHT?"

"Yeah!" Behind the Great Captain Usopp-Sama were two other boys. All the kids had strange hairstyles, "The great Usopp's Pirate Crew won't let a dummy like YOU wander on our territory!"

"Alright, alright," Usopp said, laughing at Chopper's eyes as they got bigger and bigger, and progressively more watery, "You can get off of him, Ninjin!" The boy with a carrot for hair got off of Chopper, and the reindeer sniffed at his cloths. They got so dirty when that kid stuffed him on the ground! Doctorine worked so hard to get them shiny, and now they were ruined.

"I'm NOT a raccoon!" Chopper cried, grabbing his hat and whining, "I'm a reindeer!"

"Hey!" The bearer of the Devil's Fruit heard a familiar voice, and Chopper looked across the playground to see a familiar face, "Leave my raccoon alone, Usopp!" The reindeer gave a happy gasp, his eyes turning into stars. He knew Luffy would protect him.

"No way, Luffy," Usopp replied, shaking his head, a smile on his face, "He was on my territory, and those on my territory are forced to become one of the Usopp's Pirate Crew! Nothing's going to stop me from making him my crewmate!" Luffy growled a bit, and smoke flew out of Usopp's nose. In another instant, the boys reduced themselves into a fist fight. Usopp's Pirate Crew cheered their leader on as Luffy and Usopp raised a dust cloud in the playground; Chopper sweat a bit.

"Oh! Usoppppp!" A girl, standing by the school, waved at Usopp from across the playground. She was smiling, and called to the young man, "Usopp! I brought us some breakfast! Let's go to the cafeteria and eat it together! You can tell me all your great adventures then!"

Usopp stopped hitting Luffy and Luffy stopped biting Usopp. They looked at the girl, and Usopp leapt up, saluting his crew, "Yosh! Captain Usopp's Pirate Crew… DISMISSED!" The three boys whined as Usopp whirled around, trotting off after the pale girl, "Coming, Kaya!" The girl laughed at Usopp's actions, because they were so silly. Luffy asked if he could share some of the breakfast with him, and Usopp responded by applying a goose egg on his rival's head; Luffy whined.

Usopp's three followers kicked the dirt as Luffy gave up on the free food and grabbed Chopper's arm, playfully dragging the reindeer off like a stuffed animal, "Yosh! That was fun!" The Gomu Gomu Fruit user said. He smiled at Chopper, "You're soft, Raccoon."

"I'm not a raccoon… I'm a reindeer…" Chopper whined, in vain. Suddenly, the bell rang, and Luffy looked up at the clock tower, pouting. Chopper wiped the sweat from his brow. He wasn't in the mood to play "Tag" again. He slipped his hoof out of Luffy's hand, and started off to class, "See you again, Luffy! Let's have lunch together!"

"Yosh!" Luffy said, waving, "I'll see you again, Raccoon! We'll play Tag next recess!" Chopper just smiled and waved.

---

Chopper thought that Kindergarten teachers were supposed to be nice. This Mr. Klahadore guy made the poor reindeer want to hide under his desk. He adjusted his glasses with the palm of his hand, and slammed a large dictionary on his desk, "My name is Mr. Klahadore. If you forget, remember the Black Cat…" Half the kids shivered in their seats. Chopper was one, "I wanted to make you read the Novel 'War and Peace', but the principal did not accept that. Instead, we're going to learn how to write the words 'A' through 'C'. Any objections?" There were none, "Good." The only person who seemed to not mind Mr. Klahadore's scary actions was a girl named Apis, who seemed to be daydreaming and "pretending" to converse with a bluebird.

Usopp's Pirate Crew were sitting next to each other, and the middle one, Tamanegi, was sitting behind Chopper. Suddenly, a hand was raised. Piman, the third of Usopp's Pirate Crew, was raising his hand. Mr. Klahadore's eyes fixated on the little boy like a cat. Piman gulped, "M… Mister Klafanore?" There was silence, "I mean, Mr. Klahadore?"

"Yeaaaaaaaaaaus?" The teacher replied, drawing the word out. A little girl in the back hid her head under the desk, shuddering. Chopper wondered if he was going to wet himself.

"Um… Shouldn't someone do roll call? I mean, that's how Mr. Shanks, my brother's teacher, does it…" Piman replied. Ninjin began to sweat. Now he did it! The moron actually corrected a teacher! The worst teacher you could ever correct!

Mr. Klahadore stood up, picking up the roll call card, and waving it in front of the rest of the class, "You mean… THIS… Roll call card? Someone has to read… THIS… Roll call card?"

"That's how… Mr. Shanks does it…" Piman gulped. Some kids had fainted on the spot. Chopper's eyes widened as Mr. Klahadore stood up, and brought the card to Piman. Slamming it on the boy's desk, he turned and returned to his desk.

"You're right. Someone DOES have to do it," Mr. Klahadore said, adjusting his glasses with his palm, "Mr. Piman, YOU… do it…"

Silence, "Mr… Mr. Klahadore… I can't read…" Piman whined, his eyes beginning to fill with tears. A random little girl leapt up. With a squeal of "Gottagotodabafroombye!" She zoomed from the room with a scream. Chopper raised his hand now, and all eyes were on him.

"I… Know how to read," The reindeer said, gulping, "My Guardian, Doctorine, taught me. I'll read it." Mr. Klahadore blinked at the boy, and snuffed, at a loss of words. The students felt that, with this reindeer as their scapegoat, could make it through the day. Piman quickly handed the card to Chopper, who began to read it off. Mr. Klahadore's eyes were fixated on the reindeer as he read, but the little boy was too busy smiling to notice the dark glare he had.

---

"Morning Nami!" Kaya said, waving at the red head. Nami was sitting back in her seat, blowing bubblegum. All she did was reply by waving as the girl found a seat to settle down in. Luffy was sitting in the back, sleeping and mumbling the words "Food" and "Meat" every now and then. Usopp came in right behind Kaya, and sat next to her, and stared at her, and sighed at her, and batted his eyes at her, and finally Buggy spat a paper wad at the boy, saturated in the bully's own spit, right on the same time as he did every day. The sharpshooter looked back at the bully and his lackies, and in the few minutes it took for their teacher to enter the class, they threw multiple objects at each other, from Tabasco Stars to pencils to unicycles to paper.

It only stopped until the door opened, and a red haired, hungover teacher stumbled into the room, yawning and rubbing his eyes. There was a hushed silence, and everyone waited as the teacher sucked in a deep breath of air, and suddenly he opened his eyes wide, looking back to normal, "Good Morning everyone! You all remember me, right?" Mr. Shanks, the Red Haired Wonder (of a teacher), called to his students. Everyone cheered, even Luffy, who had woken up the moment Mr. Shanks entered the room, "Alright then, I doubt I need to review my name with you all! Now then, Roll Call!" Everyone cheered. It wasn't unheard of to hear Mr. Shanks' students scream in escalation as if their president were adressing them in a powerful speech. Mr. Shanks began roll call, and whenever someone was called, they raised their hand, feeling happy that his or her teacher was asking them to answer to him. The kids had all promised each other that this was the kind of man they were going to follow when they grew up.

"Now that that's done," Mr. Shanks replied, placing the card on the desk. He stood up and started drawing a picture on the blackboard. The kids watched, wondering just what artistic masterpiece he'd create. Only Usopp was a better artist then their teacher, Mr. Shanks. Finishing the picture, he tapped the picture and asked his question, "Question: Who is this person on the blackboard?" Many people's hands rose. Mr. Shanks chose a young man, and he rose.

"The person on the blackboard is none other than the Pirate King, Gold Roger," Kohza said. Vivi clapped her hands at her friend's success as Kohza sat down, and Mr. Shanks began elaborating on what he was teach them.

---

"Good day, Mister Bushido," Nico Robin, the school's top student, addressed the sleeping (and currently failing) student, Roronoa Zoro, "I'm sure you're going to be enjoying today as a day filled with learning and education, right?"

Zoro shrugged, but suddenly was disrupted from his seat when a girl screamed, "NICO ROBIN!" Zoro cursed as he hit his head on the desk behind him, "You've been wanted by the world government since you were 8! It's time for me to bring you in!"

Robin sighed, "Tashigi… Recess is over… No more 'Marines and Pirates', alright?" Tashigi lowered her head and sniffed.

"No fair…" The little girl whined. Zoro had already uprighted himself and started off to sleep again.

"Calm down now, class," The people's teacher, Mr. Sensei, a master of the sword arts, said. He sat at his desk as Nami's older sister, Nojiko, passed out the papers of yesterday's homework. Zoro mechanically ate his former homework, to hide the evidence of yet another flunk from his parents.

"Today, we shall talk about the different seasons and their basic properties. Someday, when you all leave the island in search of weath, fortune, and not the way of the samurai, for this IS the age of pirates, you will all know how to handle yourself on the Grand Line. The required reading for this quarter is 'Brag Men', which speaks of what one might find on islands such as Alabasta and Little Garden, islands in the middle of the Grand Line. Now read it."

He then sat down and propped his feet up on his desk. He started flipping one of his books open in a huff. He always got that way when he was talking about how people didn't want to become samurai. He was a little hurt about it. Some of the people, Robin and her followers, mostly, pulled out the book from in their desk and started reading. A few minutes passed, the only sound was Zoro's slight snoring, until the door opened. The room was instantly filled with smoke, making the kids leap under the desks as the smoke alarms went off, showering the room with water, Zoro was still asleep, and ended up getting a gallon of water in his open mouth. The Principal, Captain Smoker, waited for the alarms to go off, and then shoved a kid inside, "Introduce yourself," He muttered to the boy. The door then slammed behind the boy, and all eyes went on the new kid in front of them.

The boy wiped his high class cloths of dust and water, and he started straightening his tie. Zoro wanted to cut off this pretty boy's manhood. Shrugging it off, he closed his eyes and fell asleep again. The boy took a Tootsie Roll Pop out of his pocket and started unwrapping it, "The name's Sanji," the boy said, sticking the pop in his mouth, "I'm from out of state, my uncle is the main cook here, you know, Zeff? I'm on holiday here and I'm going to be sitting around with you guys for a bit. I LARP a bit, and I like… AHHHHH! My heart!"

Robin, who was still reading her book, not really listening to Sanji's speech, suddenly gasped when someone grabbed her arm and started profusely kissing it. She stared at the boy as his one visible eye suddenly transformed into a heart, and he continued kissing the hand, "Mellorine! Mellorine! How my heart SINGS for you! My darling flower! My beautiful buttercup! What is your name, Magical Damsel of Love?"

Zoro chuckled under his breath and Tashigi looked a little hurt that she wasn't the one getting attention. Robin slowly drew her hand out of Sanji's grasp, and returned to her reading. Sanji, undeterred, continued singing words of love to the woman, until Mr. Sensei had enough, "Alright, I'm getting bored. It's fifteen minutes until lunch, you can go there first and start eating. Tashigi, Zoro, you're staying here, right?"

"Yup," Zoro replied, in his sleep. Everyone else stood up and started out of the room, Robin's nose still attached to the book, and Sanji stalking closely behind her. Pretty soon, the entire room was empty, aside from the snoring Zoro and Tashigi, who was sitting in the front row, her hands folded neatly. Mr. Sensei looked around, making sure no one was around, and then reached down and pulled out some Katana.

"Alright, from where we last left off," Mr. Sensei said, tossing one Katana to Tashigi as Zoro woke up and got up to stretch. He had two other Katana at his side, and he reached his arm up to catch the next Katana that Mr. Sensei had tossed to him, "Next time, don't try cutting each other up, or I'll hold your Katana longer than just today."

"Yes, Mr. Sensei," Zoro droned. Tashigi, however, said it with respect, bowing. Mr. Sensei then pulled his Katana out of his drawer and pointed to the door, "Alright! To the Gym!" The teacher was feeling better already.

---

Chopper skipped down the hallway. Already he learned how to write the letter "A"! It was really hard holding a pencil in his hoof, but he was determined to learn like any other boy. It was lunch time already, and the reindeer had felt that it was only a few minutes since he started learning. With his lunch money from Doctorine jingling in his pocket, things were finally looking up.

That was, until someone picked him up by his backpack. Chopper instinctively cried out Luffy's name, whether it was for Luffy to put him down or Luffy to save him, not even he knew. The captor chuckled, "Hey, Kid, was that lunch money I heard in your pocket?"

"No!" Chopper lied. The captor, which was Sanji, shook Chopper up a bit, and nodded at the sound in the pocket. Sanji flipped the reindeer upside down and shook vigorously, making his five quarters fall upon the floor. The boy dropped Chopper and picked up the money. Before the little boy could run, Sanji removed his Tootsie Roll pop and thrust it in his face, "Don't lie to me again, Kid, or else you'll get a beating." With that, he dropped the pop on the floor, "Here, for your toubles." Sanji then walked off with a laugh. Chopper's eyes filled with tears.

"How can people be so mean?" Chopper asked himself, his tears falling down his furry face as he walked towards the cafeteria. He suddenly looked up and saw another kid, Apis, specifically, crying against the wall of the hallway. Chopper jogged up to the girl, "Hey, Apis? Is something wrong?"

"Oh! Chopper…" Apis began, sniffing, "This mean boy suddenly came… and he made me give him all my money! My grandfather gave me some lunch money so I could have pizza today, but…"

"Did he have hair in front of one eye, like this?" Chopper asked, bringing the brim of his hat down to cover one of his eyes, "And did he have a curly eyebrow, like this?" Chopper continued, curling up some of his fur to make a curly Sanji eyebrow, "And did he have a surly, bully like tone? _Like THIS?_" He finished, taking on Sanji's low, bully-esque tone. Apis sniffed, and nodded. Chopper sat down next to her in thought, "Why would he be stealing everyone's lunch money?"

"Because he's a meanie and likes watching kids cry?" Apis figured. She looked at the wet, gravelly Tootsie Roll Pop that was given as a gift by Sanji when he mugged her, "But why are people so mean like that? Don't they have their own money?"

"Don't worry, Apis!" Chopper said, standing up and pointing to his nose, "I'll find out why this bully is being mean to everyone, promise!"

Apis smiled and sniffled, "Thanks, Chopper…"

---

"Hey Raccoon!" Luffy cried, slapping Chopper on the back when the reindeer arrived in the cafeteria, "What took you so long? We were all worried that you wouldn't show up!" Chopper suddenly realized that by "We were all" he meant "I was".

"I was… busy…" Chopper said, trying not to remember the traumatizing mugging that happened just a moment ago. Luffy shrugged.

"Hey Raccoon! Can I borrow some of your lunch?" He asked, "I'm really hungry…"

"No!" Chopper said, rather worriedly. Luffy picked his eyebrow up, and Chopper sweat, "That is… I mean… Well… When I was busy… I already ate it all…" Luffy sighed at the terrible news and sat down at one of the benches.

"Hey Kid, watch this!" Chopper looked up and saw Sanji stand up with one foot on the bench, and one on the table. By his side was a boy from his class, the traitor! It was Tajiyo, the cafeteria lady, Alvida's, son. He was clapping his hands at Sanji, who struck a heroic pose. It made Chopper's blood boil, "See over there?" He pointed directly at Chopper, looking at Tajiyo. The boy nodded, "That's a Stantler over there, get it?"

"Uh huh, uh huh…" Tajiyo said, while Chopper wondered what a Stantler was. Sanji then picked up an orange from his lunch.

"You see, when you LARP, or Live Action Role Play, you act everything out like a play. Like so…" He sucked in a deep breath as everyone started looking up at what the boy was talking about. He suddenly pointed at Chopper, "Aha! It's a Stantler over there! Now, with my POKEBALL!" He pointed at the orange, putting emphasis on the word "Pokeball", and Tajiyo clapped; everyone else blinked, "I will capture the Stantler with my POKEBALL! Pokeball… Go!" And with that, the boy with the Tootsie Roll Pop chucked the orange straight at Chopper. The reindeer screamed, and Luffy stretched his arm out and caught the orange. Reeling his catch back in, Luffy hugged his new treasure.

"Yay!" Luffy said excitedly, beginning to peel the orange, "It's raining oranges!"

"Oi! Quiet over there!" Usopp said, "Kaya and I are eating our lunches! More octopus, Kaya?"

The rest of the cafeteria began laughing, and Sanji returned to his seat, a little red in the face, "USUALLY," He muttered, "People don't get in the way during a LARPing session…"

"It's okay, Sanji," Tajiyo said, "They're just jealous. Could you teach me some of your cooking skills after school?"

Sanji swished his Tootsie Roll Pop in his mouth, puffing his cheeks up. He crossed his arms and looked away in annoyance, "Fine, just as long as it doesn't get in the way of my LARPing session today."

"Promise!" Tajiyo said, smiling.

Chopper's stomach began to growl, and he inched next to Luffy, getting prepared just in case the boy exploded like a ticking time bomb, "Um… Luffy?" The boy had finished peeling the orange, and was beginning to tear it into pieces, "Can… Can I have a little?"

Luffy began to whine, "But I'm hungry! And you've already eaten!" The Gomu Gomu user pouted at Chopper, "Here, you can have one piece. That's it though, you mooch!" Luffy handed a small amount of the orange to Chopper, and the reindeer gobbled it down as if he hadn't had a meal in days.

Chopper sighed, and continued to sit at his chair after his "lunch", clutching his stomach and trying to ignore the gurgling. All around he heard the happy chatter and wonderful sound of friendly laughter. He thought things were looking up, but he realized everything was really falling to pieces. Every once in a while he'd hear Kaya laughing at Usopp's tales, the occassional flip of a page from Robin's book, the rare shout of "Mellorine!" From Sanji after seeing another "Beauty".

Suddenly, he saw someone place a tray of food next to him. He looked up and saw Piman smiling at the reindeer, "Hey, I wanted to thank you. You got me out of a bind there for a second. Thank goodness you could read, huh?"

"Are you going to eat all of that?" Chopper asked, his mouth watering. Piman laughed, and pushed it next to the reindeer, "Thanks so much! It was… I'm just a little extra hungry, that's all. Oh! APIS!"

Chopper stood up and waved for the girl, who was speaking with her cousin, a boy named Dorry. She looked up and smiled at the apple that the reindeer had in his hand. Excusing herself, she trotted over to Chopper and smiled at him. Luffy blinked at the girl, "Hey, Apis, Piman is sharing his lunch with me, want some?" Chopper began.

"None for HER!" Piman said, dragging his tray away, "It's for you, Chopper, because you helped me. It's not for her! I didn't SAY you could give away my food to her!"

"Alright," Chopper said, cutting the sandwich Piman had in half. He then cut his share in half, "I'll give my food to her." Apis smiled at Chopper as he handed her two apple slices and shrugged, "Sorry, Apis. That's all I can offer you."

"Does the Raccoon have a crush?" Luffy asked, sitting indian style on the side of the bench. Apis blushed and Chopper coughed on his sandwich.

"It's not like that, Luffy!" Chopper whined, returning to the rest of his apple. Apis whirled around and walked back to speak with Dorry again, still red in the face. Chopper mumbled a little, mad that Luffy could be so mean. The reindeer doubted that his friend meant to embarrass him like that, but it did make him a little mad.

Piman stood up, "Also, I've spoken to Captain Usopp, you can walk on our territory all you want! Also, Usopp's Pirate Crew will enjoy trying to repay the favor somehow, alright?" Chopper nodded, although he wasn't sure what he could ask about returning favors. He was glad that Usopp really wasn't that mean, but was actually a honorable character, even if he did like to lie about some things at certain moments.

"Hey Raccoon! Are you done?" Luffy asked, grabbing Chopper's arm, "Come on, let's go play Tag!" The reindeer sighed as his friend dragged him off. He should have known that he couldn't escape from this forever…

---

Out on the playground, two men were lazily sipping lemonaid. They had cleaned the place of trash, and they settled down for a well deserved break, "This is the life, isn't it, Yasoku?" The first, who had sunglasses on, said, "No annoying pirate hunting…"

"No risking our lives, right, Johnny?" Yasoku replied, nodding and taking a swig, "Just normal janitor work, and a decent living."

"Well, there is ONE problem," Johnny replied, sipping the lemonaid. Yasoku looked at his partner with a question on his face, and Johnny pointed at the doors opening. Yasoku's eyes filled with fear as the sound of children's screams reached his ears, and he picked up the bag of trash that he filled. Turning to his friend, he called out, "Come on, Bro! We're out of here!"

"Right you are, Partner!" Johnny said, hefting his trash back over his shoulder like Santa Claus. They then rushed off as the children fanned out across the grounds and started playing their favorite games.

"RACCOON!" Luffy screamed, "Come back, let's play!" Chopper hid under rocks, leapt hurdles, and even disrupted a basketball game, intent on avoiding Luffy. Although he was begging the reindeer to play, in his mind, they already were playing. He zoomed right past Ninjin, who asked if he needed help. Chopper turned his head for only a moment, and smiled, shaking his head. This was Luffy's and his time, a time to have fun, even if Chopper would rather sit and enjoy a book, like Robin was doing as they ran.

Chopper began laughing, and he turned around to see Luffy chasing him, "Is that all you got?" He asked, smiling. Luffy pointed ahead, and Chopper blinked. Turning back, he ran straight into a red haired woman, who gave a scream as they tumbled onto the ground together. Luffy stopped over them and rubbed his head.

"Wow! You really did a number on her, Raccoon!" Luffy said, smiling. Chopper flew into the boy as the girl shoved the reindeer off of her. The girl sat up and started wiping dust off herself.

"Really, Luffy, I should have known that YOU'D be near when idiots run into me," Nami said angrily. She stood up, still wiping herself off, "I bet your idiocy rubbed off on this reindeer."

Chopper smiled, this girl knew who he was! "Hey, NAMI!" Luffy said angrily, "Chopper's a raccoon!" Nami and Chopper stared at each other, each beginning to sweat. Well, at least Luffy was sticking up for him… A bit…

"Whatever, I don't have time for this," Nami muttered, picking up her wallet. Chopper noticed that it looked a little fat, and his ears pricked up as something inside of it jingle. She stuffed it in her pocket and walked off with her hands on her hips.

"Hey Raccoon! Let's play some more!" Luffy said, smiling at the reindeer, completely oblivious to Nami's telling him off. The boy blinked at his friend, who was sitting in deep thought.

"Hey, Luffy? I'm going to have to give you a rain check on that," Chopper replied. He turned around and waved at Luffy as he rushed off, "I need to check on something! See you later!"

"What's a rain check?" Luffy asked himself, "And when will he give it to me?" Shaking his head, he walked off, wondering if Alvida or Zeff could give them some more lunch.

---

"Hey! If it isn't Chopper!" Tamanegi cried, pointing at the reindeer as he trotted over to meet with Usopp's pirate Crew. The three boys went to speak with Chopper as Usopp continued making Kaya laugh. It was better for kids to hang out with others their age anyway, "What do you wanna talk about, Chopper?"

"I need to see if you know anything about a certain girl with red hair. She looks like…"

Ninjin interrupted the reindeer, "CAPTAIN USOPP!" He shouted at his leader. Usopp looked up, "What does the Usopp Pirate Spy Network have on your classmate, Nami?" Chopper blinked at Ninjin's question. They had a spy network? It must have been good, since the kid knew who Nami was just by hearing what color hair she had. All eyes were on Usopp, who dug into his wallet-with-a-handle (yeah right…), and pulled out a notebook. Kaya looked over his shoulder as he started flipping through the papers.

"Aha!" Usopp cried, pointing at one of the papers, "Nami, 10 years old, red hair, has…"

"Skip ahead!" Chopper said, getting excited., "Up ahead until you get to her hobbies! What does she like?"

"She likes money, money, tangerines, money, and money," Usopp replied, "She saves her allowance money and hates having to use it for her daily lunches. Her adoptive mother, Bellemere, doesn't have much money so she has to use her own money for lunch." The captain of Usopp's Pirate Crew closed the book, "That help?"

Chopper nodded, thinking a bit, "Alright then, I wanna ask you guys for that favor now. I want you guys to spy on Nami a bit. You know, I heard in her purse that she had a lot of money, more money than a girl from a poor family would have."

Kaya clapped her hands, "Wow, Mister Chopper, you're really smart. I bet Usopp didn't even have that written down in his spy notebook!"

"That's not true! I knew about that! Really!" Usopp replied, a little hurt. He crossed his arms and looked at Chopper, scoffing a bit, "And I'm afraid we can't do anything of the sort!"

Everyone near Usopp gasped, even Kaya, "Captain!" The three children said at once, "You promised!" They looked positively spooked.

"Nami's been known to be rather ruthless. If I have my crew spy on her and they get caught, she could do something terrible to them. I can't do something that dangerous and put my crew in danger," Usopp replied, nodding, "Simple as that." Usopp stroked his chin, and looked at Chopper for a moment, thinking, "However… There is one thing you could do…"

---

"Don't worry, Kaya!" Usopp shouted, pulling out his slingshot, "Usopp's Pirate Crew will save you!" Kaya giggled as Chopper, in his human form, slung her over his shoulder. She giggled and waved her arms about as Usopp and his crew chased after him, intent on saving the damsel in distress. The kids were lacking a good "Bad Guy" to kidnap Kaya, and they decided Chopper was a great bad guy! All he lacked was a saucy moustache to twirl in his finger and thumb.

…By the time the bell rang and the kids were filing into the school, Chopper had beaten Usopp and his crew. Kaya giggled a bit as Chopper stood with one foot on the defeated Usopp. He then instantly transformed back into his humanoid reindeer form. He then trotted off, waving, "Alright! See you again! I hope you find out some good things!" The pirate crew waved after him.

"Don't worry, Captain Usopp always keeps his promise!" The leader said as he sat up.

Tamanegi sighed, "That in of itself is a lie," He said. Kaya giggled at Usopp as he hemmed and hawed, trying to find out a good comeback.

---

It was afternoon, and the bell rang for the last time. Mr. Klahadore, Mr. Shanks, and Mr. Sensei all looked up at the same time as the bell rang, and they each stood up, placing their books down, each titled "Taking Over Islands", "How to Treat a Ship Well", and "Your Three Secret Moves", respectively.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Mr. Klahadore said, looking at his students one at a time. His gaze lingered on Chopper a second longer, "See you again…" Everyone rushed out as soon as they could. The Black Cat sat down, and went back to his book.

"Alright then!" Mr. Shanks exclaimed, standing up, "Everyone, STAND!" All the children stood up, "Now… MARCH!" They marched in place, "Now… OUT!" They all marched out of the room, and Mr. Shanks waved at them as they left. Once they were out of view, he sat back down and pulled out a bottle of Sake. Swishing it around a bit, he started chugging it down in one gulp.

Mr. Sensei didn't even speak. He just raised his hand and waved as everyone but Tashigi and Zoro stood. They all walked from the room, either talking to each other or reading more of "Brag Men" (That was Robin, of course). Once the others left, Mr. Sensei stood up with his two students, and he pointed at the door, "To the Gym!"

---

The children burst from the door, screaming and shouting. A little ways away, two janitors rushed off, lemonaid in their hands once again. The children all began to head out, but a few stayed behind. Usopp was standing by the stairs that lead to the entrance of the school, trying to pick out his classmate. He hit the jackpot. Nami was walking off towards one of the big trees on the playground, and the great Captain Usopp pulled a brand new notebook out and opened it to the first page. He began scribbling, "3:25 PM. Nami is approaching Big Oak. Going to take a closer look."

The captain dropped to the grass and started dragging his body along the ground. The pencil was lodged behind his ear, and the notebook was getting grass stains. All so that he could be the "(Honorable) Brave Warrior of the Sea". The boy suddenly gasped at what he saw. He didn't notice before, because it was shady over there, but there was another boy, sitting against the tree. He was wearing black cloths that looked pretty high class. Nami approached him, and he leapt up, saying something that Usopp couldn't hear. The captain of Usopp's Pirate Crew pulled up his notebook and started writing something down. He knew what was going on, finally.

He gasped as a shadow came over him, and he rolled over on his back, facing a boy from Mr. Sensei's class. Gin gave Usopp a glare, and said, "Just what are you doing? SPYING?"

"No! No! I wasn't, I swear!" Usopp cried, his nerves failing him. He held his notebook up in front of his face as protection, and Gin grabbed the book from him. Flipping to the first page, he read the notebook over. It was written in some kind of weird language. Up at the top margin, it said, "Captain Usopp-Sama's Super Secret Code". The man looked at Usopp, who was about to get up and run, but the bully brought his foot down on the child's foot, keeping him from moving. Usopp gave a whimper.

"You were too spying," Gin growled, ripping the notebook in half and dropping it to the floor. He then cracked his knuckles, "And for lying, I'm going to have to show you the consequences…"

---

Doctorine had given Chopper a strict repremanding because he had not only lost his lunch money, but also got his cloths dirty. Nevertheless, she cleaned the cloths and gave her son five new, bright quarters. It was proof positive that he was loved by his mother. She did threaten that he was going to get a nice beating if he came back with dirty cloths again, though. Nevertheless, now that Usopp wasn't attacking him and he promised he'd find out everything about Sanji the Bully, the reindeer's cloths shouldn't get dirty, nor would he lose his lunch money.

He rounded the corner, and entered the school. He looked around for Usopp and his followers, especially. His eyebrows turned up, and he looked a little worried. There was no one to be seen! "Usopp? Tamanegi? Ninjin? Piman? Where are you all?"

Suddenly Chopper was dragged by the arm into the bushes, where Tamanegi was hiding, "Shuuuuush! Don't talk! Be quiet!"

"What's going on?" Chopper asked, in a hushed tone, "It something wrong?"

"Plenty!" Ninjin, who was the one who dragged Chopper into the bush, said, "Captain Usopp-Sama didn't come to school today!"

"I found Kaya crying on a bench near the cafeteria," Piman explained, "She said that someone had beat up Usopp, and that he was too hurt to come in today!"

"Usopp's father was really mad, and went to see Principal Captain Smoker about it, but he swore that he knew nothing of what happened. Usopp's not speaking, either," Tamanegi ended, "We think that he got hurt when spying on Nami! What if she thinks we were in on it?"

"Don't worry," Chopper said, "You don't have to do a thing. If Nami really is that mean and has something to do with that Sanji person stealing money, then I'll figure it out on my own."

The three children looked at each other, and stared back at their friend, "I… I wish you luck," They said, "You're going to need it."

"Yeah," Chopper replied, crawling out of the bushes, "Thanks…" Once he got out of his hiding spot, he screamed. It was Luffy, staring him in the face!

"RACCOON!" Luffy shouted, grabbing Chopper by the hoof and dragging him off, "Let's play, Raccoon!" Chopper cried a bit on the inside.

"Luffy, I can't hide it from you anymore," The reindeer said, yanking his hoof back. Luffy stopped where he was and turned to his friend, "I think we've got a problem."

"Don't worry, Raccoon!" Luffy said, smiling down at the reindeer, "If any bad people try to hurt you again, I'll protect you, because you're my friend!"

"Thanks a lot, Luffy," Chopper said, smiling a bit, "That means a lot to me, really."

"Can we play tag now?" Luffy inquired. Chopper sighed. Sometimes, it seemed like he was only doing it to chase him around…

Despite this, the reindeer smiled, "Yeah, Luffy," He said, "We can play tag now."

---

"I don't like this, I don't like it at all," Sanji muttered to Gin. They were sitting under Big Oak, and Sanji was sucking on his Tootsie Roll Pop, "You say there was a spy watching over Nami-San and I?"

Sanji's LARPing partner nodded, "Yeah. He's the schools' number one spy, too. Whoever hired him must have lots of money."

"The only one who has that now is Nami-San, thanks to me," Sanji said, taking out the pop and inspecting it before sticking it in his mouth again, "I'd do ANYTHING for her!"

Gin looked at his friend, "Hey Sanji, you're a master of the Tootsie Roll Pop, how many licks DOES it take to get to the chocolatey center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?"

"Actually, it depends," Sanji replied, looking at Gin. He sounded so much like a teacher that Gin sat down and listened to the boy's explination. Sanji took out the pop, and bit down hard, snapping the candy shell in two, "On how hard your teeth are."

Gin sighed, "I should have seen that coming…"

"Either way," Sanji said, yanking the rest of the pop off of the stick with his front teeth and chewing, "We need to find out who the moron is who thinks he can stop the beautiful Nami-San from getting all the money she wants."

"I think I know who can find out who it is," Gin said, standing up. He wiped his rear of grass, and smiled at Sanji, who was pulling out another Tootsie Roll Pop, "Just you watch, I know just what to do."

"I do hope so…" Sanji muttered, licking the lollipop. Gin sighed and walked off, leaving the cook to his pop, "One… Two… Three…" He bit into his candy, and gave a cry. He looked at the pop; all it had was Sanji bite marks in it, "I'm never going to do it as well as Mr. Owl…" He whined to himself.

---

Chopper was a fast learner, so fast, that this morning he finished his assignment early! After finishing it up, he turned and started fishing through his bookbag, pulling out a book on medicinal herbs. He started going through all the different herbs, taking a pen and scribbling out all the Skull and Crossbones in it, writing instead "Dangerous!" under it. That way he wouldn't get confused!

"Psssssst!" Tamanegi said, stretching himself past his desk to whisper to Chopper's ear, "Did you find anything out about Nami?"

Chopper looked up at Mr. Klahadore, who was reading as the kids did their assignments, and he pushed his chair back a bit, turning to Tamanegi, "Nothing yet, Tamanegi," He whispered back, "But here's what I think…" He looked around, and saw that Apis and Tajiyo were still doing their work, too engrossed in it to actually spy on him. He went back to whisper in his friend's ear.

"I think Sanji may be working with Nami for some reason. Sanji is stealing the money, and giving it to Nami, who desires it because she loves it. Since she can't get much, she's getting Sanji to do her dirty work, you know, so no one thinks she's behind it. Get it?"

"Wow!" Piman said, smiling, "That's great! Hey, Chopper, when you get the proof for all of this, I'm SURE Captain Usopp-Sama'll invite you to become part of the Usopp's Pirate Spy Network Crew! Well… Once he gets better, you know…"

"Shuuuuush!" Chopper said, turning to Mr. Klahadore, who snuffed a bit, wiped his nose, and continued reading his book, "Don't talk too loud! We'll get in trouble if we're caught talking like this."

"Don't worry, Chopper, we're behind you all the way!" Ninjin said. The four boys brought their hands together and said at the same time, "Yosh!" Before turning back to the front as Mr. Klahadore looked up from his book. As he started teaching again, Chopper turned to the three and winked.

---

On the first reccess, Luffy sat against the stairs that led from the school to the playground, waiting for the raccoon to come. He looked as all the children rushed out of the school. He suddenly looked away from the kids, and gasped at a Submarine Sandwich, just sitting on the floor, SITTING THERE! Without an Owner! He reached out for it, and it suddenly retracted an inch. Scratching his head, the child jumped at it. He missed by another inch. The sub was running away!

"Come back, Sandwich!" Luffy cried, grabbing his straw hat and rushing after it, "I wanna EAT you!"

Meanwhile, around the corner, the young man who had made the sub sandwich and tied the string around it, Tajiyo, was running as fast as he could, dragging the sub behind him. Oh, he hoped that Sanji's master plan would work. Well, he didn't need to think of that, he'd only have to worry about anything if Luffy caught him.

Chopper, meanwhile, walked down the stairs, looking around. Luffy was nowhere to be found! Oh well, he could just do some reading. It wouldn't be that bad! He started skipping across the grass, but suddenly… He looked down at the grass and saw a shadow… Whirling around, he saw Gin staring him down, "Well, if it isn't the annoying 'raccoon' that's been trying to mess up our plans. I'm going to have to take care of you like I did that meddling sniper spy."

Chopper gasped, "Wh… What?" He gasped, "Someone… Someone help!"

Gin cracked his knuckles, "No one's going to come to your rescue, I'm the most feared person on this playground!"

"I heard something!" Tashigi shouted, looking around. Both she and Zoro were heading off to the gym to practice, and she had heard the reindeer's cries, "Zoro, Zoro, STOP. Someone's in danger!"

"Dammit, Tashigi, I wanna go train!" Zoro said, "If you wanna go play 'good guy' then fine. I'm busy doing, HEY!"

Tashigi had grabbed the back of her rival's collar, "We're going… NOW…"

Zoro sighed, "Dangit, do I gotta?" He gagged when she dragged him across the grass.

"What would Auntie say about YOUR behavior?" Tashigi asked.

"Leave my mother out of this!" Zoro shouted in return. Tashigi stopped right over Gin and Chopper, who was beginning to cry. The two boys looked at the girl who was dragging her cousin along by the collar. She dropped him to the ground and grabbed the hilt of her katana.

"Now then, Zoro, get up. Together, we shall defeat this monster who enjoys picking on little kindergarteners!"

"We will?" Zoro asked indifferently, yawning.

"Yes…" Tashigi began, getting a little angry, "We… Are…"

"Really? Because I'd rather not," The swordsman replied, sitting on the grass and starting a nap. He would be GLAD to take out the moron if his arch nemesis and his aunt's pride and joy, Tashigi, hadn't told him to do so beforehand. He never listened to her anyway.

"YES… We… ARE!" Tashigi growled. Gin watched as Tashigi began throttling her cousin. They started a fistfight, and Chopper started crawling off. If those two could keep Gin distracted for only a moment, perhaps he could get closer to Sanji and Nami. Then, he could find out what was going on and perhaps exact revenge for what they did to Usopp!

He arrived at Big Oak, where Sanji was sitting. He was licking a Tootsie Roll Pop, and looking pleased, "Three… Four… Five…" He bit down on the pop, gave a howl of pain, and whined at the teeth marks, "Not even CLOSE to Mr. Owl!"

"So, this is what you do on your off time, Sanji!" Chopper shouted, standing up and pointing at the bully, "I, Chopper, shall make sure you never steal from me, Apis, or anyone else again!"

Sanji gave a "Tch" at the reindeer, "Someone has a crush…"

"It's NOT a crush!" Chopper shouted, waving his arms about, "She's a friend! A FRIEND!"

"Suuuuuure…" Sanji replied, swishing the pop from one side of his mouth to the other, "Listen, kid, I have half a mind to pop your head off right here. However, if you give me all your lunch money… I may not… Mellorine!"

His Mellorine radar was set off by a certain student by the name of Nico Robin, "Hey, Chopper," the best student in the school approached the two and she leaned down, resting her hands on her knees, smiling at the reindeer. Sanji's eye turned into a heart, and he continued shouting "Mellorine!", "I read your book on CPR. It's really great. Thanks for letting me borrow it." She pulled out the book and handed it back to Chopper, "I brought it back for you, you said it belonged to your mom? You'd better take care of it, otherwise your mom might get mad if you lose it."

"Mellorine!" Sanji shouted, grabbing Robin's hand as she handed Chopper the book with the other hand, "Wonderful beauty, just tell me what you want, and it will be yours!"

"Was that the same thing you said to Nami when you saw her?" Chopper asked, taking the book. Robin blinked at Chopper.

"Chopper, what are you…?" She began to ask a question before Sanji interrupted her with:

"Yes, of course!" He wasn't even realizing who he was answering to. He only had eyes for Robin, "Just like I do with ANY woman!"

"And perhaps…" Chopper thought, "She asked you to steal all the children's lunch money and give it to her?"

"Does it matter?" Sanji asked, still staring at Robin with desire in his eye. He addressed her as he spoke, as if she were the one who asked the question, "But if you must know, my darling, I did… And I do NOT regret any of it!"

"That's all I needed to know!" Chopper said, "Robin, could you take care of him? I gotta go speak with Nami!"

Robin stared off after the reindeer as he rushed off, "See you, Cutie!" She said, waving. Sanji continued shouting "Mellorine!" Robin looked at the admirer and sighed, holding her free arm up, "Six Flowers!" She called, making six Robin arms appear out of Sanji's body. They properly restrained him to keep him from hurting neither himself nor the one he was singing praises to. She then turned and walked off, giggling at the sight that Sanji had left.

---

"I gotta find Nami! Once I do, we can live without losing lunch money!" Chopper said, rushing across the playground. He'd find that annoying Nami if it killed him! Rounding the corner around the school, he ran straight into a young boy from his class. With a gasp, he looked down at the child he ran into. Why, it was Tajiyo! He was dragging along a Sub Sandwich tied to a string!

"Yosh!" Luffy shouted, finally catching up to and picking up the sandwich. He bit into it, sighing a bit as the flavor rushed through his mouth, "Oh! Chopper! You can't mooch off me today! This is all for me!"

"I don't care, Luffy!" The reindeer said, leaping up and looking accusingly at his classmate, "You were trying to keep Luffy away from me, huh Tajiyo? That's so that Gin could attack me, was THAT it?"

Luffy looked down, surprised at how mad Chopper looked, "Don't worry, Chopper! I'm still your friend. Tajiyo and I were just playing some 'tag the sub sandwich'!" Chopper sighed. The boy actually thought Tajiyo was trying to steal him away as a friend!

"I'm busy, Luffy, have fun with the sub," The reindeer said, rushing off. Luffy continued chewing, and looked at Tajiyo, who was whining. He took another bite, and suddenly spat some of it out, "Ahhk! Sand!"

---

Chopper sighed. It seemed the whole of the playground was on two sides, one was the side with Nami, the bullies, and the others were the innocent sufferers, continually getting pushed around. It was time to take a stand.

"Nami!" The reindeer shouted, pointing at the girl sitting at the sandbox. She was counting out money, "You're going to be defeated by me!"

"Ehhh?" Nami asked, standing up, "Just what are you talking about, raccoon?"

"You heard me!" Chopper shouted angrily. The NERVE of her! She knew that he was a reindeer, she even called him that! Now she was just making FUN of him! "I'm going to beat you up for making Sanji steal all our money!"

"Oh…" Nami muttered, "That…" She sighed and returned to her money, "Don't worry, It'll all be okay in the end…"

"What are you talking abouuuaaaakkk!" Chopper asked, then shouted, as Sanji rammed into the reindeer, pinning him to the ground. Sanji saluted Nami, and then returned to grinding Chopper's face into the dirt.

"That's what you get for treating Nami-San like dirt!" Sanji said angrily, "YOU get treated like dirt!"

"It's… Pleh! Sanji, Stop!" Chopper shouted, "Stooooop!"

"What's going on here?" Nami's sister, Nojiko, asked. She was crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

"Onee-Sama!" Sanji called to Nojiko, waving. He addressed his "Older Sister", "This terrible person was assaulting your sister!"

"My 'Sister' is right here…" Nojiko replied, taking a step out of the way. Nami, standing right behind her, was waving, "Nami was on a trip to the dentist's office. My mom has to take us to an affordable dentist that's like, a day away, and she just got home after being away for nearly three days!"

Sanji blinked, pointing at Nami, "Then… If YOU'RE Nami-San," He then pointed at the other Nami, "then you're…"

The imposter Nami began laughing out loud, and she touched her face with her left hand. She immediately transformed into a He. That "He", in particular, was a boy by the name of Bon Clay, "Nyahhhhh haaaaaaa!" Bon Clay shouted happily, "Wasn't that a fantastic fabrication?"

Everyone stared at him, eyes wide. Bon Clay began twirling about in a young girl's cloths, "Is it not WONDERFUL to be using the Mane Mane (Copy Copy) Devil's Fruit?"

"Who the hell are you?" Sanji shouted. Bon Clay was still twirling, singing a little song, "Un Deux, Trois… What's number four?"

"Listen when we're talking to you!" Nojiko shouted, making Bon Clay finally stop twirling like a ballerina, "Just who ARE you?"

"I am Bon Clay, the Ballerina!" He sang, "and I come from down the street! I'm from the middle school there!"

"But… isn't the middle school still… in session right now?" Nami asked, "Does that mean you're playing… Hooky?"

"Like it matters?" Bon Clay asked, laughing and twirling some more. He was interrupted, however, as Sanji slammed his foot into the boy's face.

The copier fell into the sand, and Sanji stood over him, "You little bastard! How dare you take Nami-San's image and use it to manipulate me!"

"Who's he?" Nami asked her sister, motioning towards Sanji. He had arrived while she was gone.

"Long story, I'll tell you about it later," Nojiko said as Sanji continued shouting at Bon Clay.

"In FACT, the only way I could EVER let you get away with this is if you told me you were a GREAT LARPer and would enjoy doing some sessions with me!" He said. Chopper sighed, "With only Gin and me, it's kinda hard to play…"

It was then that Luffy came by, eating his sandwich. He waved at Chopper and was about to speak with him about playing tag, when he looked at the ballerina, "Oh, Bon Clay, hi!"

"Whaaaaaat?" Everyone shouted, turning to Luffy. The child shrugged, "My Brother, Ace, goes to his school. Sometimes he comes over and eats some lunch with us on weekends. Bon Clay may be a ballerina, but he's also a great shortstop on my brother's baseball team!"

Everyone stared at Bon Clay, unbelievably, and he chuckled at Sanji, "I can also LARP a MEAN Bard!"

"It's Pokemon," Sanji growled.

"Erika," Bon Clay corrected himself, coughing into his hand, "I can LARP a great Gym Battling Erika. Seriously."

As Sanji thought about it, Chopper came up from the cook's side, "What about our money?" He said, "Apis and I want our money back!"

"Oh yeah," Sanji said, "You made me steal money for you. Give it back!" Bon Clay sadly returned the money, and Chopper felt estatic. He solved the case and got his money back! That is, until Sanji turned to Nami and handed it to her, "Here you are, Nami-San! You can have it! After all, it was for you!"

"Sure!" Nami said, taking the offered wallet while Chopper cried in the background.

"But no stealing anymore, alright, Sanji?" Nojiko said, wagging a finger at him. Sanji nodded.

"Alright, Onee-Sama!" He said, saluting. The reindeer sighed. It all went by so fast, he couldn't believe everything was over.

"Hey, Raccoon!" Luffy said, taking Chopper's hand after finishing his sandwich, "Ready to play tag?" Well, at least ONE thing hadn't changed…

---

It was three days later. Chopper was still nursing his black eye that he got from Doctorine for bringing back dirty cloths YET AGAIN (from Sanji grinding him into the dirt in front of Bon Clay), and Usopp has returned to the school in a leg cast. No real charges were brought against the school or Gin for pulverizing the boy, although the Great Captain Usopp-Sama mysteriously got his hands on the school records of Gin, and now the boy had more dirt on Gin than the other kids in the boy's class combined. No one was more happy about his recovery than Kaya. Usopp's Pirate Crew invited Chopper into the gang, but Chopper decided not to have his name associated with the Spy Network. However, he promised the boys that he'd help with any dirty spy business, just as long as he got to kidnap Kaya again.

When Sanji's parents heard of his escapades, they decided to have his uncle, Zeff, take care of the problem. He was stuck in the school for at least another month. Robin and Chopper became good friends, passing books off to each other, and in this time, Robin began tutoring Chopper's reading level from kindergarten to first grade. Nami and Nojiko hung out together and soon became friends with Tashigi and Zoro. The four are hardly ever seen without each other. Apis returned to her daydreaming self, and stopped feeling so sad about her money losses.

As for Luffy, tomorrow was Saturday, and he invited his new raccoon friend to lunch with his family. Little did the reindeer know, however, that Luffy's brother, Ace, had also invited his shortstop, Bon Clay, to the same lunch on the same day…

**THE END!**

**---**

Hope you enjoyed it! Review it! Tell me what you liked and didn't like about it! Alright?


	2. Middle Meets High

First off, I am sorry for all of you people who have not seen past the dub. Many characters are those that are further on than so. Hope you enjoy it either way.

Second off, I LOVED writing for Kaku. It was just so great.

Third off, No characters are actually pairings! I DON'T Support ZoroxTashigi, neither LuffyxUsopp or ChopperxRobin! As my friend said for my disclaimer, "Any actual thought thatI (as in ME, the writer)am supporting OP pairings comes only from stupid people." Hopefully you're smart.

I hate spewing legal gibberish...

Anyway, on with the story!

---

One Piece: Middle Meets High

Luffy smiled at his friend, "Chopper, you don't have to feel sad. We're still friends!"

The reindeer who ate the Hito Hito (Human Human) Fruit sighed, looking at the daily chart he was supposed to work on for the day. He had finally been convinced to join Usopp's Pirate Crew as their resident spy, and did a really good job at it. Back when they were in elementary school together, it was easy to sneak up on the required target under the disguise of a reindeer being chased by an eccentric best friend. Yet now… Those days would be lost forever… He looked up at Luffy and sighed again, shaking his head, "But Luffy, You're leaving Middle School right when I get in. I bet by the time I get into High School, you'll be in college. There'll hardly be any time for us to be together…"

The elder boy looked sad, and suddenly was struck with a great idea, "I know!" Luffy said, pounding his fist into his hand, "I won't do any of my homework; then we can hang out more!"

"How is that going to help your future?" Chopper asked, finishing up his daily worksheet on Nami's unhealthy attachment to her map of the highschool campus. He placed the notebook in his backpack and looked up at the high school campus that they were approaching. This would be his friend's first day of high school, and this would also be his first day of middle school. As they approached the gates, Chopper shrugged and looked at his friend, "See you after school then, Luffy." He was about to walk off, but he stared at his friend. Luffy didn't answer, staring what seemed to be in space.

Suddenly, he threw his finger in the air, "I know! I'll get Ace to do my homework! He's a genius and a half, he won't mind helping me out!"

The reindeer got a sweatdrop, smirking a bit, "Whatever, Luffy," Chopper muttered, walking off, "Tell Usopp I've got my work done. I'm sure he'll like the work I put into it."

"Yeah, SURE!" Luffy said, suddenly getting peeved, "Go off and spend all your time with Usopp! I bet he's your FAVORITE, HUH?" Chopper sighed. Luffy and Usopp had been rivals for the longest time, and it was hard being a friend of both of them. They would always ask him to do the other in, sometimes in less than honorable ways. He'd have to tell them to get off his case someday…

"Chopper!" The Reindeer blinked at the corner of the high school walls. Apis was hiding behind it. She waved a little and approached him, taking his hand, "I was waiting for you! Let's go to school before we get in trouble for being late, huh?"

"See you, Reindeer!" Luffy shouted after the two, since they were pretty far away. He had finally gotten the point that Chopper wasn't a "Raccoon", "Take care of your little GIRLFRIEND!"

"She's NOT my girlfriend!" Chopper shouted in vain as he walked off with Apis. Luffy sniggered and walked inside the gates, looking at the children who had arrived earlier. Most were hanging out in groups: like Kaya and Usopp; Zoro and his cousin, Tashigi, who were hanging out with Nami and her sister, Nojiko; Buggy, Cabaji and Mohji, the school bullies; and Robin, along with her gaggle of other school loving girls. Luffy sighed a bit, since he had never found a new friend to replace Chopper once they were separated because of the school system. He decided that when he grew up, he'd abolish middle school and just make highschool REALLLLLY long. That'd fix everything up!

"Move aside, foul peon!" A voice rang through the playground, and Luffy looked to the side. The crowd to Luffy's right was parting; everyone was moving aside for Gin. He was LARPing with his friend, Sanji, who had returned to the town for the past year ever since his parents split up. Luffy took a step forward to get out of Gin's way as the LARPer rushed by, dragging a young blonde girl along. She was shouting such randoms as "Help me! Save me! Before I do it myself!" It was Conis, the girl who had recently moved in a few years ago. It was strange seeing a girl LARP, since nearly the entire population of LARPing fanatics were male.

"Do not fear, Princess Conis Frillis Beautiga II! I, Lord Sanjdi Ligor of the Ravenous Mountains will save you from Dark Master Ginunous Kenteg!" Sanji shouted, clearing a bush in his rush to catch up with Gin. He had moved up from Tootsie Roll Pops to cigarettes, even though he was only 17, and therefore technically breaking the law, in a way. He was wearing a gray, old, frayed coffee table cloth as a cape, to add to his costume. The LARPer shoved Luffy aside as he chased down the Dark Master, shouting more inanities.

The master of the Hana Hana (Flower Flower) Devil Fruit, Nico Robin, dragged her feet from being outstreatched into an indian position as Sanji rushed by her. She looked up from behind her book and smiled at him, "Gotten bored of Pokemon, Sanji?" She asked with a smirk. The man to whom she spoke to stopped for a moment, just to grab her hand and pull his cigarette out to talk.

"Mellorine, Fair Robinchan, Maiden of Fort Fortunious!" Sanji said, "Why play Pokemon now? It is such a childish game. We are not children anymore, as you can see. Perhaps now such a fair maiden would enjoy LARPing an unchildish game?"

"I'm busy…" Robin muttered, returning to her book, "And by the way, I'm NOT a Maiden of Fort WhateverIt'sCalled, and only childish people use a tablecloth as a cape. Now lemme go." She slid her hand out of Sanji's and returned to her book without another word.

"Mellorine…" Sanji said a little sadly, replacing his cigarette and turning around. He then growled at the fact that Gin had gotten really far away, and Conis was attempting to escape herself, "Hey! Dark Master! Hasn't anyone told you to wait up?" Robin's Girl Gaggle giggled as he rushed off, and then they returned to reading their books.

---

Luffy shook his head at the LARPing nerd group and started to walk across the playground towards the school. Suddenly, a delectable smell wafted into the Gomu Gomu Fruit user's nose, and he rushed towards the smell without thinking. He stopped when he came upon Usopp and Kaya, who sitting on top of the tables, their feet on the benches. They were eating their breakfast together. Once Luffy's rival spied the boy, he leapt up and stood on the bench, pointing angrily at the Straw Hat, "Oi Oi Oi, Luffy!" Usopp shouted, waving his hand as if to try and shoo away a pesky fly, "Go away, you're mussing up the beautiful air that Kaya breaths! Isn't that right, Kaya?"

"Don't mind Usopp, Luffy," Kaya said, giggling at Usopp's angry demenor, "He doesn't really mean it. You muss up the air as much as he does."

"Does that mean Usopp doesn't take a bath?" Luffy asked, making the long nosed sharpshooter fall off the bench and eat dirt. Kaya giggled a bit as Usopp leapt to his feet and jumped on top of the boy.

"You calling me dirty? I'll SHOW you dirty!" Usopp shouted. A cloud of dust was raised and Kaya sighed, continuing her meal as the two wrestled on the ground.

---

Usopp's Pirate Crew was minus three other young men, but they were still lively. They were just as lively as the Swordsmen Phys Ed Masters, Tashigi and Zoro. They were constantly training together, and would challenge each other constantly. The two had both agreed that if at any time one of them won two times in a row, then that person would be known as the best swordsman (or Woman) on campus. Their scores at that time were Zoro: 50, Tashigi: 50, Tie: 35.

The two had finished up their training alone, and decided now to test their new muscles against each other. Usually, Nojiko and Nami would cheer them on, but they were late today, "This time, dear cousin…" Zoro said, clasping his famous sword in his teeth as they prepared for their fight, "I'm going to win this one. Whoever wins gets to buy the other lunch!"

His cousin shrugged, drawing her katana out ever so gracefully, "Sounds like a plan," she replied, adjusting her glasses. She crouched down in a defensive position Mr. Sensei taught her back in elementary school. For only a moment, the two weighed their chances against each others' weak points and strengths, and at the same time, struck.

---

By the time the bell rang for school to start, the scores then were Zoro: 50, Tashigi: 50, Tie: 36. "We'll call it a tie this time, Zoro…" Tashigi said, panting, "But I'm going to eventually beat you two times in a row and stop this stupid contest."

"Hollow words from a washed up younger cousin," Zoro countered, gasping for air, "If that bell hadn't rung, I'd have beat you."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Tashigi muttered, snapping her katana back where it belonged. His boastful words were just as hollow as he claimed she was. There was no way he could beat her twice in a row…

Tashigi was interrupted from her thoughts when Nojiko approached the two as they walked into the school, "Tashigi, Zoro, can I have a word with you?" The tattooed girl asked. The cousins looked at each other. Tashigi knew right away Zoro was about to give a half assed excuse, and turned her head back to Nojiko. She nodded, smiling, and Zoro groaned. Nojiko nodded, looking up and down the hallway to make sure there weren't any prying ears. She then started whispering to the swordsmen, "I can't find Nami anywhere! We walked together to the school grounds, and when we were on the playground, I looked away for just a second, and now she's gone! I think something may have happened. You're strong and everything, could you be on the lookout for my sister?"

Zoro opened his mouth, but all that was heard was Tashigi, saying, "Of course we will!" She looked at Zoro, her mouth puckered up a bit, "Right?"

Her cousin looked at her, and then looked away, "F… Fine…"

Nojiko smiled, "Thanks so much, you two. You're the best."

"Anything for a friend, Nojiko!" Tashigi said, smiling. As the three continued down the hall, Tashigi glared at her cousin, "What was THAT, Zoro? Your own FRIEND. What is WRONG with you?"

"Oh, come off it, Miss 'Holier-Than-Thou'. I'm busy thinking of better things," Zoro said. Tashigi and Zoro instantly got into another fight. Nojiko sighed at them. How could seniors set such a bad example for the younger students?

---

"This is what happens when you fight too much, you two…" Kaya said, sighing. Luffy and Usopp were practically connected to each other, with Luffy's fingers up Usopp's nose, and Usopp's hand was stuck in Luffy's monkeyvest, his watch attached to one of the buttons, "If you stopped fighting, you wouldn't be in this mess…"

"Kaya…" Luffy muttered, "Shut up and help us out of this."

"Oi!" Usopp said, snuffing on Luffy's fingers, "Don't be mean to Kaya! This is good punishment for our fighting if she says it is! You don't tell her to shut up, ever! Hey! Stop! That tickles!" He started laughing as Luffy began moving his fingers around, trying to get them in a more comfortable position. It was then that Usopp sneezed, and sent Luffy's fingers shooting out of his nose.

Kaya giggled, "That's one way to do things…"

"Yosh!" Luffy shouted, grabbing at Usopp's watch. The boy tried to get Luffy not to touch him with his booger infested two fingers, but it was too late! Luffy was able to detach the watch from his button, and Usopp had to live the rest of the day with a green watch. Things were looking extremely bad now.

"Oi… Kaya, could we wait a sec and get this washed off at the nearest drinking fountain?" He asked his friend. She didn't reply, so he turned around, "Kaya, I said…?" There was no one there. Yet that couldn't be right! She was just speaking a second ago! Usopp turned to Luffy, "Luffy! Luffy, what did you do?"

"What?" Luffy asked, turning around and grabbing his hat, giving Usopp his whiny tone, "What are you… Huh? Where'd Kaya go?"

"That's what I was saying!" Usopp said, "You must have scared her off with your vulgar demeanor! How could you, Luffy?"

"I didn't do anything!" Luffy cried as he rushed off, being chased intently by his nemesis. Luffy was feeling slightly worried, though. Women don't just up and disappear randomly, unless he actually DID scare Kaya off, which he doubted. Usopp chased him right into their history class, where the teacher, Mister Whitebeard, sat, drinking down sake right in front of the group. He had a sexy nurse at his side, and an IV was sticking stuff in his body. He looked up at the two, who were making lots of noise, and they shuffled quietly into the back. Mister Whitebeard followed Luffy with his eyes, and smiled a bit. He placed his hands on his desk and leaned forward, staring directly at Luffy, "I am to assume you are Monkey D. Luffy, Ace's brother, are you not?"

Luffy looked up. He figured that the lesson was going to be boring, and was already preparing to go to sleep, "Um… Yeah, Ace is my Nii-Chan. What about it?"

Mister Whitebeard simply nodded, chuckling, "He told me to expect you. He told me to keep an eye out for you." Luffy cocked his head to the side, "For you frequently sleep in class, and there's none of that in my class…"

Luffy puffed his cheeks up and laid down on his arms as they folded across the desk. That jerk Ace blabbed! Sure, he remembered the name Whitebeard. Mister Whitebeard was Ace's favorite teacher, as well as Ace being the history teacher's class pet. Luffy was sure that his brother meant for him to not get in trouble, but did he really have to go throwing personal things into the mix? Seriously…

Luffy looked up as Whitebeard was reading roll call, "Kaya?" He asked when no one answered. He looked up at the people sitting before him, and Usopp sniffed a bit, "Oh well…

"Nami?" He looked up once again. No one had answered. This was third women who didn't answer already! "Something's wrong… Could they all be sick?" Usopp could have answered, but he was feeling too crappy to raise his hand. Luffy did it for him.

"Kaya disappeared while Usopp and I were on our way in!" Luffy said, as if it were just a natural occurance. Usopp gave him a glare, and the people sitting at the tables whispered amongst themselves.

"Disappearances?" Kohza said angrily, standing, "Miss Vivi should be nowhere NEAR a place where disappearances are happening!"

"Kohza! Shuuuuuuush!" The daughter of the mayor, Vivi, said, lying low on her desk and tugging on her overprotective friend's shirt, "There is nothing wrong right now. I bet they just went to go get a drink of water or something."

"At the same time?" Dorry asked, standing to his full height of a gigantic 8'10". No wonder he was the star quarterback in last year's middleschool football team, "I won't stand for it! If there's people disappearing, I want to know who is doing it, and why? When my cousin Apis comes into this place, I want to KNOW," And with that, he slammed his fist on the desk, nearly breaking it apart, "that she'll be safe here!"

Mister Whitebeard sighed, holding his hands before him and waving them about, and the nurse squeaked, holding her notebook in front of her face, "Calm down, calm down, I'll talk with the principal when I can…"

---

"What's that?" The Physical Education teacher, Kaku, asked, staring at Zoro, who was crossing his arms and giving the teacher a glare, "What was that about MY teaching skills?"

"I said they suck," Zoro said matter-of-factly, acting hautily. He was so intent on making this fool look like a fool that he didn't even realize Tashigi wasn't beating him up, "Any REAL PE teacher lets swordsmen train their swords as well as train their body."

"You don't need…" Kaku muttered, picking up his notebook, "to train your swordsmanship. Any real swordsman trains during his offtime." He turned around and looked up at Broggy as the giant (9')'s rope snapped, sending him to the ground.

"That may be so, but…" Zoro began, until Sanji grabbed his shoulder. The boy puffed a plume in Zoro's face and gave his rival a simple shake of the head. Zoro threw Sanji's arm off, and both Conis and Gin approached, ready to help his friend if things got ugly. The four suddenly turned back to Kaku as he turned back to them, "Alright… Conis, you're up next… I'm pretty sure YOU won't break the last rope we own. Freakin' apes ruining my equipment…"

"I heard that!" Broggy shouted, trying to sit up despite a nearly destroyed back. Conis skipped off to get on the last rope.

"Oh, by the way, Roronoa Zoro…" Kaku muttered, showing him the notebook, "For what you said today…" The square under Zoro's name showed an "F", "You're failing the rest of the week."

"Tell me something I don't know…" Zoro muttered, "Hey, Tashigi! Let's go train somewhere better!" He turned around, "Tashigi? Where'd you go?"

"I could have sworn I saw Tashigi-San head off somewhere…" Sanji muttered, "But now that I'm thinking about it… I… Don't have an idea! I guess you have to have fun with us, Roronoa-Scum!"

"Shut your mouth or I'll do it for you!" Zoro shouted, raising a fist. Sanji just slid his hands into his pockets and leaned against his back leg. The other one in the front held itself on its tip, ready to strike at a moment's notice. Before the two could fight, however, Kaku walked between them and showed Sanji his "F".

"Alright, you two, get over to the rings. I'm too busy to handle a bunch of no good whiners," He said, returning to the notebook. Seriously, he didn't have THIS much trouble with Bon Clay… He doubted anyone would pass this class this year…

---

"Chopppppppper!" Luffy shouted at the walls of Grand Town Middle School. The school hadn't been let out yet, "Chooooooooooooopper!"

"Oi, quiet down, Luffy, I'm right here!" Chopper said a little angrily, approaching his friend, "Now everyone in the town knows I'm friends with a moron with a dependancy problem."

"But I missed you, Chopper!" Luffy said, placing his hands behind his head as they walked off. He looked behind him for a moment, and saw as Usopp and his Pirate Crew were walking out of the school's grounds and walked down the street on the other side. Luffy whirled around and stared in disbelief at his friend, "Chopper… You DIDN'T!"

"I was just giving him my work for today," Chopper said, shrugging off Luffy's accusations. They popped up every day after school, and he wasn't feeling up to it today, "Leave him be. He's not killing anyone."

"What's your problem, Reindeer?" Luffy asked, petting Chopper's hat, "Something's wrong…" Chopper gulped and sweat a little, and he hid his face when Luffy snapped his fingers, "I know! Your girlfriend isn't here! Did she dump you?"

"Apis is NOT my girlfriend!" Chopper shouted, "Get that through your head! Besides, she didn't dump me, she just went home early from school today." Luffy gave Chopper a look, and the reindeer sighed, looking down, "I… I don't know where she went… but she didn't arrive for the second half of her classes. I simply assumed…"

"Oh, just like Kaya!" Luffy said. Chopper looked up at Luffy, and he smiled at his friend, "Kaya went away while Usopp and I were fighting. I haven't seen her the rest of the day."

"Really?" Chopper asked, getting suspicious. Something must have happened, and it seemed like it was time for his masterful spying abilities to come into play! "Hey Luffy? Mind if you just drop me off at home? I have some important work to do. We'll play another day."

"Oh…" Luffy muttered, looking sad, "Well… Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow…"

"We'll walk together to school," Chopper said as they rounded the corner to the tree like house that his adoptive mother, Doctorine, dwelt in, "Promise." And with that, before Luffy could say anything, he walked into the house, and was greeted by his mother's eccentric way of greeting, with a flail.

---

When Chopper was finished being berated for not washing the dishes during the morning before he went to school, as per his duties, he escaped up into the loft of the house, his room. He sat down and prepared to do his homework, finishing it rather quickly. Usually, in elementary school, Robin would help him a lot, but tonight she didn't show up. It made the reindeer feel a little sad, but he didn't rely solely on her smarts to continue. He just wanted to talk to her about his first day of middle school.

When he finished his homework, he pulled up a few books, and started rifling through them. He stuck his tongue out as he placed bookmarks in certain places, and worked well into the night, looking through the different books on abduction. He knew, by now, what it was. The big question he needed to know was "Motivation". Why was someone kidnapping multiple females of all different types and ages? Was it a he or a she? If it was male… Was he a pervert? Was he…? Chopper shook his head, "No…" He muttered, "The girls are strong. They'd work together to make sure no one'd do anything to hurt them…"

He sat down and continued to think, until he started drifting off to sleep. His thoughts flew from his teachers to Usopp, Ninjin, Piman and Tamanegi, and lastly, to Luffy and the conversations they shared this day.

"I'll see you tomorrow…"

"What's your problem, Reindeer?"

"Chooooooooooooopper!"

"I won't do any of my homework; then we can hang out more!"

"I know! I'll get Ace to do my homework! He's a genius and a half, he won't mind helping me out!"

Suddenly Chopper sat up, bolt awake. That was it! Ace was really smart, would help Chopper find out how to help… him… He dropped down again, falling asleep at his books. He was so tired…

---

"TONY TONY CHOPPER!" The reindeer's eyes opened, he felt so tired, he was up so late, and now was up so early, "Chopper! You have to…"

"Doctorine!" Chopper said, standing up and stuffing his homework and books into his backpack. He slid down his ladder and smiled at his mother, "I need to head out early, can I do the dishes when I get home, please?" He was met with the sound reply of hundreds of different weapons. Chopper rushed from the house with a squeal, and by the time he got a sound distance away from the house, he chuckled. She was so nice to him…! Rushing off towards Luffy's house, he knew exactly what to do. It would work, he knew it would!

"Miss Luffy's Mother!" Chopper shouted, banging on Luffy's house's door. Unfortunately, he forgot Luffy's mother's name… The door opened, and Chopper squeaked at the woman in it.

"Oi!" Luffy's mother shouted, looking down at Chopper, who gulped, "What do you want? What're you here for?" Chopper gulped, and smiled at the woman. She was awfully strict, much unlike her husband, who was like Luffy in every way. He remembered so when he had lunch with the family. It was like a party everytime he visited their house, but now that his mother was before him, it didn't seem like there was going to be a party anytime soon…

"Miss Luffy's Mother?" He said, gulping, "I need to speak with Ace… It's important…"

"Ace isn't here anymore," She said matter-of-factly, "You cannot speak with him h…"

"Mother!" Luffy said, shoving his mother aside. Luffy smiled at his friend, "What're you doing here so early, Chopper? I would normally be sleeping right now, but…"

"There's no time, Luffy!" Chopper said, "Do you know where Ace is living right now? I need to speak with him!"

Luffy scratched his head, "You're strange, reindeer… I guess there's enough time… We could always just walk there and then head back to the school after your visit."

"Luffy!" His mother shouted, "You'd better be home early! Last time you said you got detention, you liar!" She continued shouting some more things, but by this time, Chopper and Luffy were out of earshot. They talked a bit, until Luffy led the reindeer to a rather tall looking apartment complex.

"It's here. My brother's boarding up with a friend of his," Luffy explained, walking up the stairs to the top, "It must be so cool to live out on your own!"

"I guess… But I'd rather keep learning from Doctorine if I need to after school. I just can't learn as much about being a doctor as normal with all this schoolwork piling up." Luffy knocked on the front door, and the two of them waited for many minutes, until the door opened, revealing Luffy's brother, Portugas D. Ace. He was wearing his normal pants, and was missing a shirt, like usual.

He smiled a bit, and before the two could walk in, he held his hand out, "Wait a sec. Hey, Bon-Chan! My bro and his little friend's here! You're decent, right?"

"He's boarding with Bon Clay?" Chopper said in a hushed cry, remembering Bon Clay's annoying plan to steal all the kindergartener's lunch money when he was only five. He still didn't trust the Okama much after that.

"I'm fine, Ace!" Bon Clay said, and Ace allowed the two boys inside. Luffy chuckled a bit at the disarray of the apartment, "I bet Mom would kill you if she saw the place like this!"

"Hey, we had a party with the Andersons across the way," Ace replied, picking up some of the streamers on the floor, "I usually don't leave the place this dirty, but I was too tired to clean up last night. Quit judging me."

"I bet everyone judges you two," Chopper muttered, despite himself. Luffy twisted quickly around and Ace stared at the reindeer.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Ace cried. Chopper blinked, and clasped his hooves over his mouth. He really didn't mean to say that! It just burst out! The three stood in silence for a bit. Suddenly, Luffy's brother burst into laughter, "What a silly thing to say. Reindeer, Bon-Chan's a friend! He's a great ballerina, and he's gotten a few jobs along the way. He can pay the rent, so he's a good room mate."

Chopper chuckled, "S… Sorry… I really didn't mean…"

"Ace-Chan!" Bon shouted from his room, interrupting the blushing reindeer, "I can't find my Swan Coat! Where'd it go?"

The two boys looked up at Ace as he sighed, answering, "It's at the dry cleaner's. I thought you said you wanted me to keep it there!"

"I NEEEEED it for my work todayyyyyy! I can't believe it's not heeeeeeere!" Bon Clay whined, coming out Swanless. He looked distraught, "Why did you not telllllll me sooner, Ace-Chan?"

"Bon-Chan, we've been through this," Ace muttered, "You TOLD me to send it there. Why didn't YOU remember?"

"I do not wannnnnnnnna continue listening to your jibber jabbering!" Bon said, dancing gracefully towards the door, "L'un, Doix, Trois, how do you say four?"

"For the LAST TIME," Ace shouted as Bon slammed the door behind him, "It's QUATRE!" Luffy and Chopper sweat a bit, as Ace sighed and returned to his guests, "So, what's up? Need some breakfast?"

"Food!" Luffy shouted, rushing towards the kitchen. Chopper followed Ace as he led the reindeer to the kitchen, and Ace looked at his friend, "By the way, have you heard the news?" Chopper's head snapped up and he gave his friend's brother a surprised look, "They say that the girls in Grand Town Middle and High have been disappearing. I figured you'd have noticed it first hand, since they've only been happening during school hours."

He started the oven with his finger, and began cooking up some pancakes. Chopper sat at the kitchen bar next to Luffy, and he began his explanation of why he was here, exactly, "That's the reason I came here, actually. I'm starting to believe that the girls have been kidnapped by someone. If it's only happening during school, then I can't use my spy abilities as well as I should. I'm wanted to ask you if you could help me find out who's doing this, Ace. Luffy said you were really smart."

Ace laughed, "I blame my mom," He said, "She was really strict and forced me to get 100 on all my tests. When my parents had Luffy, Dad made sure that she wasn't going to be so strict on him. It's the biggest reason why we're so different." He finished making the pancakes and placed them on some plates, giving them to his guests. He gave Chopper only two, and five to Luffy, who gobbled them down in a moment. Chopper started eating as Ace sat up on the bar and looked at the two, "I don't have any classes today, so I guess I could help you two find out what's going on. No girl should be left in the hands of a man who has kidnapped them. Well, actually, no one should be left in the hands of someone who has kidnapped them."

"Then you'll help?" Chopper said, smiling. Ace was so nice! "I'm going to see if I can find out anything special at school. Luffy, look out for anything suspicious, alright?"

"So I'm busy playing middle man?" Ace said, "And I thought I was going to help!" Chopper blushed. As he did, Luffy snatched up the rest of the reindeer's breakfast and swallowed it whole.

"Really, if you do find anything out, Ace…" Chopper said, "That would be great. I just don't know where you'd find something to do…"

"Middle man's good, it's fine…" Ace said, waving away Chopper's apology, "But it's best if I stay outside of the schools, and I'll find out everything I can outside the place. All the clues won't be hidden at the scene of the crime, you know."

"I guess so…" Chopper began, his voice drifting off as he looked around the apartment. His eyes landed on the VCR clock, which Ace, being a genius, was able to set. His eyes widened when he saw the time, and he turned to look at Luffy, "Oi! Luffy! We're going to be late! We have to get out of here now! Come on, let's go!"

"Huh?" Luffy said, looking at the time, "Oh, it is. We gotta get out of here. Nii-Chan, where's my homework?"

Chopper's jaw dropped as Ace pulled it out of his drawer in the living room. How could he let Luffy get away with something like that? "Well, here you are Luffy. You're lucky, I've never been a delinquint, and it's nice to feel like you, sometimes."

"Thanks, Ace!" Luffy said, taking the papers, "You're the best! Come on, Chopper, let's go!"

"You're terrible, Luffy," Chopper said as he exited the apartment after Luffy, with Ace locking the place up as he left, "Why can't you do your own work once in a while?"

"But that takes too much work!" Luffy complained. Chopper sighed, and muttered that it was the point of work. Ace placed his hands on the two boys and smiled, "Oi oi oi! The three of us are working together to save your lady friends. No frowning now! How can people save their friends when they aren't feeling helpful themselves?"

"Alright…" Chopper said, sighing. He knew Luffy wouldn't mind much, since none of the people who were captured weren't really his friends. No one his age wanted to be with him. His eccentricness made sure of that.

Chopper, Luffy, and Ace split up upon arriving at the two schoolyards. Ace made sure to remain out of the grounds, while Chopper went off to his middle school and Luffy wandered to Grand Line High. Ace waved at them as they left him alone. We shall now focus on Chopper, who got the first clue of just who this enemy was. It all started when he was picked up by the back of his shirt by another bully of the middle school grounds. His name was Bellamy, and he ran a bunch of other bullies who hung on his every word, "Oi, squirt," Bellamy said, shaking Chopper from side to side.

"Let me go!" Chopper whined, shaking back and forth, "What do you want with me, you jerk?"

Sarquiss, Bellamy's second in command, angrily shouted at the reindeer, "You little snot! Why I aughta…"

"Don't, Sarquiss," Bellamy muttered, still holding the reindeer, "We need this little spy."

"But… Bellamy!"

"Shut up! You want Lily to come back, don't you?" Bellamy shouted at his underling. Chopper gulped, trying to remain still. THAT'S why they wanted him!

"Did one of your friends get taken away too?" Chopper asked, staring at the floor. Bellamy's face scared him too much to look into it. Besides, the Spring Spring Devil Fruit user had him by the back.

"Shut up, runt!" Bellamy shouted, shaking Chopper back and forth. The bully was getting awfully mad, "Just tell me where Lily is! Tell me where she is, you little spy!"

Chopper hated talking with people when they were threatening them. Sighing, the reindeer put his knowledge to work, "I'll need some info," He said, still hanging by his backpack, "Where was Lily when you last saw her?"

Bellamy looked at Sarquiss (Although Chopper couldn't tell), and the boy thought for a moment, "Lily and I were playing together, passing a ball back and forth and calling each other bad names… And then when I turned to tell off a jerkwad kid behind me, I turned around and she was gone! I could have sworn I saw some marks like she was being dragged off the school grounds…"

"Dragged, huh?" Chopper thought, "Did you see where they went after that? North of the school, or south?"

"Like I was supposed to know, you freaky runt?" Sarquiss shouted, making Chopper cry out and grab his hat for reinforcement. Suddenly, Bellamy dropped the reindeer to the ground.

"Hey, Runt, if you find out anything, you better tell us, or I'm going to beat the living crap out of you," He said, turning around, "Come on, Sarquiss, the runt doesn't know a thing. We'll find out ourselves."

Chopper blinked, staring at the group as they left. He sighed and rubbed his forehead of sweat. He needed to tell Ace. He knew that the women weren't going just because they wanted to, but now he was SURE they were being kidnapped!

---

"Oh… I figured…" Ace muttered when Chopper snucked out of the school to tell the man what he had learned. The College student pointed up the street and continued to mutter, "Oh, by the way, I saw that ex-teacher from my High School days, what was his name, Marshall Teach? He was wandering up there, carrying a sack that was moving. Unless he was bringing a rabbit home, he shouldn't have anything live inside a sack like that."

"Aieeehhhh?" Chopper shouted, turning on his heel towards where Ace pointed, "We need to go! We need to go there now!" He was about to rush off, but Ace picked the reindeer up, being strong and all, and pointed at the clock, that was ringing, "Time for school. I'll go on ahead and scout the place out. Take care, Chopper." He placed the boy on the ground and lightly pushed his back. Walking off, he waved a bit, smiling. Chopper sighed, and turned towards the school. He didn't want to get in trouble for being late!

---

Vivi looked at her desk. It was really old, and looked like it'd fall apart, "I want to go home! Carue is waiting for me!"

Apis looked at the girl, and smiled, "Don't worry, We'll be out of here soon!"

Tashigi looked at Robin and raised her hand, "Robin, do you have a fool proof plan to escape?"

"Not really," Robin said, "In fact, we may be stuck here forever."

Vivi gave a cry and Conis whined that she missed her fox named Sue. Apis shook her head, "We won't be stuck here forever! Chopper'll come and save us! Chopper's brave, he'll work to save us!"

"Chopper's a hard worker…" Robin said, "You may be right, Apis… But you may be wrong, as well…"

Suddenly the door opened and Blackbeard, also known as Marshall Teach, came in, dragging Lily behind him. She had given up trying to get away, so she was just crossing her arms as he dragged her in, "Look at this, ladies! We have another student joining us!"

The room was filled with, "You pervert! Sicko! Let us out of here!" and some things that should not be repeated in a child's story.

"What a warm welcome!" Blackbeard said, smiling, "Now, Lily, go find a place to sit, I will begin the lesson shortly." He released the girl, and just before Lily bolted for the door, she noticed a sniper in the back. She looked at the other girls, and they smirked at her helplessly. Apparently that was what was keeping them from rushing away at that very moment. Lily gulped and inched towards the back. Nami and Nojiko, who were sitting next to each other, shrugged as she found a chair in the back next to Kaya, who was twiddling her thumbs. Settling down, the man smiled and started an explination, "I have taken you here because I must show the world that Marshall Teach… CAN TEACH!" He started writing things on the black board at furious speed, and began teaching the children stupid things that no one needed to know, such as how to tell when a rabbit was sneaking up on you.

The women wanted to get away as soon as they could, but they just couldn't run with that Van Auge sniper staring them down. If only Luffy were there, he could be a Gomu Gomu shield to protect them from the bullets. Robin sighed at the idiotic information being relayed to them, and she looked out the window of the abandoned warehouse they were stuck in, and she blinked. She could have sworn she had seen someone outside there…

Ace looked into the warehouse, and dropped from the boxes that made a nice ladder to the high window. Chopper was right, these girls were kidnapped, and now he knew why… "Time to save those poor little girls!" Ace said, turning to enter the warehouse. Suddenly, he stopped, and chuckled, "I may be strong, but I'm smart enough not to take all of those people on by myself. I need to tell Chopper about this right away!" And with that, he rushed off, intent on picking up the reindeer as soon as possible.

---

Chopper walked out of the school grounds for lunch with Piman, Tamanegi, and Ninjin, and walked towards the benches to eat while they looked around the grounds for more clues. He needed to find out how to find the women! He was about to settle down and eat while watching the schoolgrounds, when he heard a familiar and secret whistle. That was Ace! He must have figured something out! Leaping from his seat, he looked at his friends, "Come on, you guys! That's Ace, I told you about him!" and with that, the four rushed towards the gates of the school, and being so small, they were able to slip through the gates.

Ace placed his hands on his hips and smirked at the boys, and said, "Alright! I figured out the best way to save the women! However, we're going to need more help. Chopper, can you collect your friends? We'll need all the help we can get…"

Chopper looked at his friends, and they winked. Piman then turned to Ace, and smiled, "I think we know JUST the people, Ace!"

"And," Chopper added, "I think you may know one of them as well!" With a grin, the boys rushed off towards the High School schoolgrounds, a smile planted on their faces. Ace sighed, and trotted off after them, as they began sneaking into the gates. No wonder they were such good spies!

---

Meanwhile, on the High School grounds, pandemonium was ensuing. The entire grounds were completely devoid of any females, and the young men were beginning to feel the worst of it. Sanji was searching about the place with Gin (who else could play a damsel in distress than an actual damsel?), to find Conis, Usopp was attacking Luffy for losing Kaya, and Zoro was clomping up to the principal, AoKiji, as he basked in the sun, his trademark eyemask slipped lazily over his eyes. The swordsman stood over the principal and kicked him awake. He muttered an "Ararara?" as he lifted the eyemask from one of his eyes. "Principal Kiji!" Zoro said, waving his arms about, "I can't find Tashigi anywhere! You need to help me find her!"

"Ararararara?" The principal asked Zoro as he tried explaining what happened, "Whassa matter? Timmy got stuck in the old well? Well, I'll head off to phone the fire department to get him out." Standing up, the principal's head drooped as he walked off, and he snored a bit as he left Zoro alone. He began having a fit in his mind as he watched the only person he could trust walk off. How else was he going to find his cousin? Do it himself? Ha!

Meanwhile, Chopper and the Usopp Pirate Crew were huddled together, "You three, go find Usopp! He deserves to know what's going on. I'll go find Luffy."

"Right!" Tamenegi said, smiling. The four placed their hands in the middle, and together, they shouted, "YOSHA!" And lifted them into the air. From there, they went their separate ways. Chopper rushed off towards his friend, Luffy, intent on telling the boy what they had learned, "Luffy! Luffy! Guess what Ace found out!" Luffy, who was sitting on a bench, eating a pound of meat, looked up at the sound. He looked at his friend and gasped.

"Chopper! Are you a Freshman like me ALREADY?" Luffy shouted, leaping from the bench and waving his arms about, "Now we can play tag again!" Chopper held his hands out to protect himself as Luffy dragged the reindeer into a Gomu Gomu no Hagu! The reindeer promptly turned the color of his nose, "I missed you, Reindeer, now we can play together again!"

"Nice to know, Luffy. Lemme go, I can't breath!" The Hito Hito Fruit user whined. Luffy let Chopper go and he began to gasp for air. When he could breath, he turned around to speak to Luffy, but he was assaulted from behind by another friend of his.

"Hey Chopper! What are you doing here?" Usopp shouted, his pirate crew standing behind him, "And why are you hanging out with this loser? You DO realize he lost Kaya, right?" Suddenly Usopp and Luffy locked eyes, and lightning sprung from them, even while Usopp was practically kneeling on top of the reindeer, who knew he was going to get killed by Doctorine for letting his closths get ruined. Chopper was released as Usopp jumped on top of Luffy, and they started fighting all over again. The three kids trotted up to their friend who was still a little hurt, and they shrugged at him as Luffy and Usopp continued their fighting match.

"You okay, Chopper?" Ninjin asked, smiling at his reindeer friend. Chopper just smirked in response. Ninjin then looked up at the fighting and shouted, "Oi! Usopp-Sama! We need to speak with you about the girls that have disappeared!" The two instantly stopped fighting, Usopp's hand being eaten by Luffy, and Luffy's arm stretched into a ribbon's bow. They untangled themselves, and nodded, "Listen! We need more people! Ace needs everyone's help! Collect as many people as you can, we're going to save the women!"

"YOSH!" They all shouted together.

---

"Alright, everyone, it's time for us to fight back and save the young ladies of the town!" Chopper said as the boys of the High School formed a semicircle around the reindeer, who was standing on a soap box, "Ace has found out where the enemy has taken the poor young ladies!" The men blinked at him, and the reindeer began to sweat. He then regained his compsure and continued, "Come on, everyone!" He shouted, "We men have to get together! Robin, Conis, Nojiko, Nami, and Apis have all disappeared! We have our differences, but we can join together and find out what happened to the women of Grand Line High!"

The reindeer sighed as Piman, Tamanegi and Ninjin whispered among themselves, Zoro and Sanji traded many obscene gestures, Luffy chewed on his toenails, and Usopp shouted angrily, "Oi oi oi! You forgot to mention Kaya! What kind of Usopp Pirate ARE you?"

"It doesn't matter!" Chopper said, "Come on, Zoro! Don't you want to save Tashigi? Sanji and Gin, you KNOW that Conis didn't disappear on accident! Usopp, well, just saying Kaya's name aughta be enough. Kohza! Vivi's waiting for you!" He pointed at all the men, and his finger rested on Luffy, who was crossing his arms. He had no reason to help the women, none of them liked him much anyway… The reindeer sighed, "Luffy… For me?"

The Gomu Gomu user sighed, and nodded, "Just for you… and your GIRLFRIENDS!"

"Apis and Robin are FRIENDS!" Chopper whined in vain as Luffy leapt up.

"Come on, everyone!" Luffy shouted, "We're busting out of here and saving all the girls in Grand Town! Let's do this!" The men shouted a "YOSH!" and they rushed off towards the gate. Luffy grabbed Chopper as they rushed to make a break for it. Suddenly, Chopper was hit with the realization that every one of them was playing… Hooky…

"Gomu Gomu No…" Luffy shouted, stretching his arms as Chopper hung onto his friend's neck, "Sorry to Play Hooky!" He then sailed into the air, right above Ace, who was standing outside the gate, waving, "Oh! Nii-Chan is coming too?"

"Oni… GIRI!" Zoro sliced through the bars of the gate, allowing Usopp and his pirate crew, as well as Kohza and the others, to head through it.

"Just you wait, Zoro!" Sanji said as he and Gin walked out, "I'm going to beat ALL of those people up and you'll wish that you were as cool as me!"

"Shut your mouth, you…"

"Come on! Let's go!" Chopper said, "We'll save them ALL!"

"For Conis-Chan…" Sanji murmured, lighting a cigarette.

"I need to kidnap SOMEONE, and it's not going to be any of you!" Gin said.

"Who else can I spar with?" Zoro asked.

"Kaya needs us, right, Usopp's Pirate Crew?" Usopp asked.

"Haiii, Usopp-Sama!" His three underlings shouted at the same time.

"To save Vivi-Sama," Kohza said, "I do hope she is okay…"

"What have you got to say, Mister?" Ace asked his brother. Luffy sighed.

"I'll come along and help," He muttered, a little peeved.

"What's going on?" Someone asked. Everyone leapt a foot, screaming. They whirled around, and Bon Clay smiled at them, "I just saw nearly a hundred young men sitting around, loitering, and I wanted to know if you were trying to have an…"

"ALRIGHT, Bon-Chan, that's enough!" Ace said, silencing the Okama, "We're going to save the women of Grand Town. You in?"

Bon Clay blinked at the people, and then looked at Ace, "Well, you know I'd do anything for you, Ace-Chan!" He said, smiling. Chopper sighed happily. What a ragtag group of people he had dragged together…

---

"Here we are…" Chopper said, "Are we ready to break in?" He turned to the group, and the men all nodded, and he turned around, his hands on his hips, "Let's do this!"

"Not so fast!" A voice shouted. They looked up, staring at a man whose silhouette was brought out wonderfully by the setting sun. The mysterious person leapt from the building and dropped to the ground, "You cannot go fight Marshall Teach. He is much too busy. I won't let you get in the warehouse, or my name isn't…"

"KAKU?" Ace shouted. Kaku shouted that Ace didn't let him finish, "What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be teaching at the High School?"

Kaku (The PE teacher, ifn you forgot), pointed at the small crowd behind Chopper and Ace, "How the hell am I supposed to teach when everyone is here? Besides, Teach and I are working to get him to be reinstated back to Grand Line High." Only Ace and Bon Clay gagged at the thought. The other people hadn't been around when he was a teacher.

"Hey kids," Ace said, cracking his knuckles, "Get inside. I'll take this person on." Chopper looked inquisitively at him, and he said, "When I was in his PE class… He… He… He gave me a B!"

Everyone gasped.

"A B overall… Do you know how much my mother tore into me? I'll never forgive you, you horrendous teacher!" Ace shouted, pointing a finger accusingly at his nemesis. Bon Clay expressed that he got an A+ easily with a shrug, wondering why Ace didn't get one.

"But don't worry, Ace-Chan, I'll help you! It was way too much extra credit to get that high grade!" The Okama said, "We'll handle him, you guys! Get inside!"

"Be careful Nii-Chan!" Luffy shouted as the men began to rush inside the warehouse. Ace and Bon Clay began crouching in a fighting position. They were ready to defeat this enemy of children who try hard to gain good grades everywhere…

---

The girls, who were in the back room of the warehouse, were sighing at the terrible information given to them, and Kaya looked out the window which looked into the main room of the warehouse. Her eyes widened at the sight of the crowd of men, and she turned to Lily, who was falling asleep. Kaya poked Lily and pointed at the men, and Lily smiled. They looked at each other, and they giggled, knowing that now was the perfect time to enact their escape plan. Lily reached up and poked Robin, who was in front of her. She then whispered into the woman's ear, "It's time for Phase 1, Robin."

The master of the Hana Hana (Flower Flower) Fruit nodded, and placed her hands in an X, "Five Flowers!" She shouted, making five of her hands blossom from Van Auge's body, restraining him and grabbing his gun away from him. Blackbeard went into a rage.

"What are you women doing?" He shouted, "Stop acting like animals! We're in a school!"

---

"We have to get further inside," Zoro said, holding his favorite sword in his hand, his other placed protectively on the three sheaths at his hip, "If we are going to even think about saving the women…"

"Oh, lookit me, I'm a great person who knows EVERYTHING about saving people!" Sanji said, wiggling his fingers like he was a magician, although he didn't even mention the fact that Zoro was "claiming" to be a magician, "I've saved all the people in the world and I know just how to save my darling little cousin!"

"Listen, you little…" Zoro whirled around and held his finger up under Sanji's nose. The only reason he didn't attack Sanji right out was that Gin would help his friend, and two against one was too difficult to try without getting injured. As he continued, the other men went deeper into the darkness, without Zoro, Sanji or Gin. They began to fight amongst themselves, when suddenly they heard footsteps approaching. The three men whirled around, and crouched in a fighting position as a man came into view. He was absolutely giant, and dressed like a wrestling champion!

"What is it that you want?" Gin asked, "We're a little busy. I'd prefer if you leave, because we will fight if need be."

The man laughed, "You little kids should leave right now! If you don't, you'll face the wrath of Jesus Burgess!"

The boys looked at each other, blinking. They then looked back at this Burgess man and got ready to fight, "We won't leave! We need to save those women!" They shouted at the same time. It was then that the fight began.

---

"Auge!" Teach shouted, pointing, "Don't let those women get away!" The girls were escaping, and the eldest ones, like Robin and Tashigi, were carrying the smaller ones, like Lily and Apis. They filed down the stairs as they continued their escape, and they rushed into the warehouse's main room, where the men, minus the three fighting Burgess, were approaching.

"Oi! Robin, Apis!" Chopper shouted, waving.

"Kaya!" Usopp shouted, running faster than the others and taking her hands, "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Here, Usopp. I finished it for you," Kaya said, handing the boy a wooden something, "Just take it. I wanted to give it to you later for your birthday, but you'll need it more now." Usopp inspected it for a second, and placed it in his wallet with a handle, smiling thanks to his childhood friend.

"Lady Vivi," Kohza said, bringing her further away from the approaching "teachers", "We need to help you escape."

"I miss Carue…" Vivi said, smiling.

Chopper waved his arms as the men began reuniting themselves with their feminine counterparts, "Everyone! You all gotta get out of here! Kohza, lead them out!"

"What about you, Chopper?" Luffy asked. He looked up at Van Auge and Marshall Teach as they came closer, "You can't fight them alone!"

"Captain Usopp-Sama will help!" Usopp shouted, pointing to his long nose with an air of pride, "You members of Usopp's Crew should go and protect Kaya!"

Usopp's three members nodded, "Hai, Captain Usopp!" They shouted in unison, taking Kaya's hands and leading her off. Everyone left, leaving Usopp, Luffy and Chopper to stare down the adults. Chopper was shaking with fear, much like Usopp, but they had to protect the women! Kohza took the women and men away as Auge and Teach stood before the three boys.

"You would steal my students from me? It seems they aren't teaching you ANYTHING at that school of yours," Teach muttered angrily.

Chopper put his hoof on his hip and pointed at the evil man, "You would kidnap women for your own personal gain? You're a terrible man, Marshall D Teach!"

Usopp smirked, "I'll take care of Mister Eyeglass-Man. Goggles Vs. Eyeglass! I wonder who will win?" Ague grumbled angrily at Usopp's nonchalant wording.

Chopper pulled out a small, round, gold object, "This is a Rumble Ball! It'll last for 3 minutes, and in 3 minutes, you dumb teacher, you're going to regret ever touching Apis and Robin!"

"It seems someone has some girlfriends…" Teach muttered. Luffy chuckled as Chopper screamed.

"That's it!" Flipping the Rumble Ball in the air, the reindeer caught the call in his mouth, "Rumble!" Chomping it down, the ball broke into many pieces, which he swallowed, "Ball!" Luffy watched as Chopper rushed into the fray, and Usopp began loading his slingshot…

---

Usopp tumbled into multiple amounts of crates, just barely avoiding Ague's last shot. The two had been in a fight for the last few minutes, and it seemed like Usopp was getting beaten. How else could he fight a man with a rifle? Not even his father used a gun of that power! Ague walked up to the sniper, staring down at the boy, "Did you honestly think that a silly slingshot could defeat the great Van Ague?"

Usopp coughed a bit, staring at the man with terrible amounts of fear. He raised his slingshot in a last desperate attempt to fight, and released a shot, "Hissatsu (Sure Kill), Cactus Shot!"

Ague reached out to catch the shot, but it burst out, showering Teach's sharpshooter in small needles. He let out a roar and raised his rifle, "I don't know what happens when I fire this point blank, but for an opponent as you, I'm glad to find out…"

Usopp looked around, crying out, "Someone! Someone! Help me!"

Before Ague fired off the shot, Luffy's voice rang out, "Gomu Gomu no Pistol!" The boy's fist stretched until it connected with Ague's head, sending him sprawling to the ground. Usopp scrambled out of the way before the man could fall on him. Standing up, he stared at Luffy, blinking. The Gomu Gomu Master smiled, "How else could I have a rival without you, Usopp?"

Usopp chuckled a bit, smiling, "Th… Thanks, Luffy."

"No prob…" Luffy was cut off as Ague shot a rifle blast in the side of the boy's head. The shrapnel that resulted from the burst flew into his head, stretching out as it tried its hardest to fly through his head. It didn't however, and Luffy smiled, "That's not going to work!" He shouted just as the shrapnel was released, flying directly at Ague, who ducked just in time.

"Stand back, Luffy! I will protect and save you!" Usopp shouted. Luffy was about to point out that his rival needed saving, but as he looked at Usopp, he blinked. He was wearing a painted wooden mask, the one Kaya had given him when they were reunited in the warehouse. Wrapped around his neck was a red cape, and he looked very courageous, "The SogeKing, whose best friend FINALLY finished his costume, will be able to fight this monster!"

Luffy clapped his hands as Ague blinked, "Wow! You look so cool, Usopp!"

"I'm the SOGEKING!" The SokeKing shouted, pointing at his wrapped up nose, "And now, Van Ugg, I shall…"

"That was so lame…" Ague interrupted, wondering why in the world he had to fight morons like these.

"It doesn't matter! I'll defeat you!" The SokeKing began drawing out his patent pending Hissatsu Gunpowder Stars, and before Ague could leap behind some nice cover and avoid the strike, Luffy leapt up, binding the sharpshooter to the ground, "Yosh, Luffy, let's do this together! Hissatsu… Triple Gunpowder Stars!" The SogeKing released the three stars, and they exploded right on Ague and Luffy.

The smoke cleared, and Ague coughed, Luffy falling to the floor, swirls in his eyes, "You little…" The sharpshooter lifted his rifle, but the SogeKing, in another act of desperation, thought faster.

"Triple Stars! Triple Stars! Triple Stars! Triple Stars! Waguuuuuuuumu! Triple Stars! Triple Stars!" Ague fell to the ground, defeated, as the SogeKing dropped to the floor, completely out of breath. Suddenly, Luffy, covered in soot, and his rival, Captain Usopp, looked at each other, and Usopp took off his mask, "Outcome… Alright!"

"Yosh!" Luffy shouted, and the two started laughing.

---

"Jumping Point!" Chopper shouted, leaping into the air, dodging Teach's attack, "Arm Point!" He called, bringing himself down upon Marshall D Teach, "Kokutei (Split Hoof) Roseo (Sakura)!" Slamming his powerful armed hoof right at Teach, he barely missed as the teacher shifted to the side, catching the reindeer flatfooted. As Chopper landed, Teach reached out to attack his opponent, but Chopper caught himself quickly, "Guard Point!" A thick layer of fur surrounded the little boy, protecting himself from the handswipe. He bounced a foot away, and smirked, "You can't hurt me like this!"

"Damn you, runt! Stop changing on me!" Teach shouted, "Stop acting like a freak and fight normally!"

"This is it!" Chopper shouted, turning into his small, Chibi form, "Brain Point! I'll find out your weakness!"

"Try it, you little runt!" Teach shouted, rushing the reindeer. Chopper stayed, unmoving. He was scanning the man, looking for a weakness. He could find it before he was struck… He could find it…

"Got it!" Chopper cried, looking up as Teach was about to bring his hand down on the little child, "Guard Point!" The fist slammed into his fur, making Chopper's legs give out; Teach's attack almost broke through the tough fur. However, Chopper wasn't harmed, "Jumping Point!" Chopper leapt into the air, landing behind Teach a few feet away. Marshall D Teach whirled around and the little reindeer smiled, "It's over! Horn Point!"

"Not yet it's not!" Teach shouted as the reindeer transformed into his normal reindeer form, only with giant horns. Teach reached out and grabbed the horns, intent on running the user of the Hume Hume Fruit into the ground. Chopper only smiled.

"You lose!" Chopper shouted, lifting his head, throwing Teach into the air, "It's your quick movements that are key to your fighting prowress, and now the air will be your defeat, Arm Point!" Teach plummeted to earth as Chopper transformed into his large armed form. He drew back his arm, and drew it up to slam it into the teacher's forehead, "Kokutei Roseo!" Teach flew back into the air, but there was no need to land another hit, because he was knocked out cold.

Chopper then plopped on the floor, exhausted, "Oh man… How tiring!"

Suddenly, Sanji, Gin and Zoro arrived, "Pah! Look at you three, lying on the floor like this when the women are in trouble!"

The three who fought Ague and Teach glared at the three who had recently defeated Burgess, "Where were YOU?" They accused Sanji, Gin and Zoro angrily.

---

"So… Tired…" Luffy muttered the next morning. He rounded the corner, coming to school, and he saw Chopper, limping along, "Oi… Chopper… What's up?"

"Doctorine beat the crap out of me for coming back late at night with my cloths ripped up," Chopper replied, "What happened to you?"

Luffy was nursing his black eye, "Same for you…" He muttered, whining a bit, "See you this evening."

"I'm grounded…" Chopper muttered. Luffy moaned, and they waved as they split up, Chopper going to his middle school, and Luffy wandering into the high school. He was met at the gate by all the men, being lectured by AoKiji, who was talking through an ice megaphone.

"I can't believe you! All of you are disgraces! You ALL skipped school AT THE SAME TIME! What kind of morons are you? I should turn you all to ice this very moment!" Luffy fell asleep by then, and finally awoke as he started wrapping up, "And you will all be in detention for the next week!" The boys groaned as AoKiji chucked the megaphone on the ground and allowed his temperary janitors, Yosaku and Johnny, to carry him off as he fell asleep. The boys looked at each other, moaning at the detention they were going to get, when suddenly they heard a small sound.

Looking up, they saw the reason for such a sound, which was gaining in decibles every second. The women were cheering for them. Suddenly, detention for a week seemed quite fine, as the crowd of women spread into the crowd of men. After mingling a bit, friends and clickes and groups detatched from one another. Every man went with a woman, who told them just how brave they were. In just a few short moments, everyone had dispersed and went to their normal routine, that is, all but one.

Luffy looked out across the fields. Not ONE person came to greet and thank him. Like usual, he was alone. If only Chopper were here! Suddenly, he heard an, "Oi, Luffy!" and the boy looked up, peering into the rising sun to see who had called his attention.

Usopp was holding up a piece of his sandwich, "You wanna hang out a bit?" He asked, just as he gave the piece to Kaya. Luffy's smile widened to gigantic proportions.

"WOULD I?" He shouted, tearing across the field to them. Usopp gulped and looked at Kaya.

"Are you SURE this is a good idea?" He asked her.

Kaya giggled in return as Luffy leapt up on top of the table they were sitting at, asking for their bentou, "It's fine, Usopp, and you know you wanted to do it anyway…"

Usopp grumbled, "So much for having a rival," He said, handing Luffy some of their octopus.

The world was okay again. Conis could play with Sanji, Robin could help Chopper with his homework, Tashigi could spar with Zoro, and Nojiko and Nami could cheer on the sidelines. Kaya could continue making the SokeKing's costume, and now she had an extra job, giving half her bentou to Luffy. Over in middleschool, Lily could play with Bellami, and Apis could go nature walking with Chopper. Everything seemed right with the world…

Of course… Not for Kaku…

"Scream!" Ace shouted, kicking the fallen PE Teacher, "ADMIT IT! You gave me a B on purpose to show everyone that you were a 'hard knocks' teacher!"

Bon Clay blinked as Kaku screamed from the beatings, "Alright! Alright! I did it! I gave you a B on PURPOSE!"

"That's IT!" Ace screamed, still kicking his former teacher, "You're going to be found DEAD tomorrow!"

"Ace-Chan, it already IS tomorrow!"

**THE END!**

**---**

R+R, Christy likes finding out what you like and dislike about said story.

ADMIT IT, you LOVED Kaku!

And if you even for ONCE start making a crack about me making AcexBon Clay,  
I'm going to slap you back to the beginning of this Christmas morning! I'm not kidding, either!

Now I'm going to get assaulted by cracks about AcexBon Clay just because people are funny like that. Sigh...


	3. Vivi's Bodyguard 1

This is the first half of a Shortstory for Yachtzee. She wrote a great review, and I want to write a story for her! I'm taking into account her idea to keep the short stories in chapters, so it's easier for you to keep up. This is the FIRST part, and I think I left it at a good place, don't you think?

Once again, THANKS, Yachtzee! You're the best!

One Piece: The Mayor's Bodyguard  
Part 1

A short story for Yachtzee.

Your review made me want to write one more! Thanks!

Kohza blinked past sleepy salt filled eyes as he stared at the ringing alarm. Reaching out, he finally was able to press the snooze button, and settled back down to sleep. Last night the mayor, Cobra's, daughter, Vivi, had snuck from her residence, and Kohza, in a desperate attempt to find her, spent the entire night searching. He ended up finding her in his home, asking where he might be. She was a handful, but he wouldn't ever stop protecting her from harm for all the money in Grand Line Town. After his remenincing of last night, he suddenly heard the clinking of glasses and the talking of people. Young Kohza grabbed his pillow and thrust it over his head.

Finally giving up, he dragged himself out of bed and turned off his alarm. Those dumb people, waking him up! He hated those damned thin walls. Stomping out of his house, he entered the bar that his mother, Makino, owned. He stared at her, one of his eyes twitching from lack of sleep. The woman looked down at her son, "My, Kohza. You look like you haven't slept a wink!"

"I didn't." Kohza muttered, sitting on one of the barstools in front of his mother's bar, "You just had to open early, didn't you?"

"Sorry Dear, but we're running low on money. Longer hours means more money coming in," Makino replied.

Suddenly, a large pint slammed next to Kohza, "Oi, Makino, be a dear and fill this up!" Kohza hissed at the man. It was Shanks, the most famous teacher in Grand Line Elementary. Kohza was the only man who didn't admire the great teacher. It was a simple reason, Shanks constantly hit on his mother. Well, actually… He hit on any woman age 18 and above. However, ever since Kohza's father, a wealthy merchant by the name of Toto, died, it was just the Makino and he, and Kohza had no intention of sharing the rest of his life with a womanizing, boozing bastard like him.

Makino noticed the glare on her son's face, and shrugged, as if to say, "What can I do?" as she went to fill his pint with Sake. Kohza sighed, because it was true. What else could she do other than continue to feed his addiction? It was the only way they could get any money. Deep in Kohza's heart, he wished that he was as rich as Vivi. Then he and his mother wouldn't be scraping and scrounging so much. However, he didn't envy Vivi, she lost her mother when she was his age. They were like opposite sides of the same coin, and that's why he promised to always protect her. Being opposite, Vivi couldn't take care of herself very well.

"Well, I'm off to school," Kohza muttered, dragging himself off the stool, "Love you, Mom, see you in a while, WAIT!" He turned around and pointed at Shanks, "Why the hell are YOU at the bar? Aren't you supposed to be working?" Everyone in the bar stared at the young boy. Shanks looked up at Kohza, and lifted his watch up. The boy stared at it intently, rubbing the sand from his eyes so he wasn't squinting so much. "Well, I'll be damned…" He muttered, blinking at the date under the time, "It's Saturday…"

The entire bar burst into laughter, and Shanks laughed at the young man, "BASTARD!" Kohza screamed, whirling around and rushing from the bar. That damned damned damned damned Shanks! How dare that teacher make fun of him? Shanks continued to laugh, looking at Lucky Roux, Ben Beckman, and Yasopp (Usopp's Father), his drinking buddies, in turn. They continued to laugh, and as he turned to Makino to ask her to refill the pint, he winced at her. She glowered over him, tapping her fingers on the bar, "You're staying here the whole day. When Kohza returns, you apologize to him. That was uncalled for."

"Yes, Ma'am," Shanks muttered, looking extremely sorry. He then turned to his drinking buddies, and they suddenly burst back into laughter. Makino scrubbed the bar a little harder. Her poor poor boy…

---

"My, Kohza, you look like you didn't sleep a wink!" Vivi said as Kohza approached her and sat down on the large rock next to her. They were in the gardens that Cobra owned, and Carue, Vivi's pet Spot Billed Duck, sat next to his owner as she smiled at her friend, "You okay, Kohza?"

Kohza rubbed his face and grumbled, "Damn bastard. Red Haired Shanks, He's a little."

Suddenly he was stopped when Vivi smacked him upside the head, "You're always cursing. You need to stop."

Kohza growled at his friend, but when she smiled, he stopped feeling so glum, "So, why did you run away yesterday?" He asked, "That's the main reason I couldn't get to sleep."

"I wanted to play with you alone," Vivi said, swinging her feet as she sat on the rock. The Freshman stared at his friend, red in the face. She looked at him and suddenly burst into laughter, "I meant, you know, playing TAG or maybe One Piece Pirates or something like that." She laughed, "Men are so silly, thinking dumb things like that."

Kohza rolled his eyes, "Sure…" He said.

"Kwehhhhh!" Carue said, rubbing Vivi's hand with his bill. She had stopped petting him!

"I've got it!" Vivi snapped her fingers as her other hand made it back to Carue's head, "Let's go on a ride together with Carue! We'll head out of the town and just be together! That way you can forget about that mean Shanks man. Alright?"

Kohza didn't think it was the best of ideas when he first thought of it, but he decided it wouldn't be too bad. He agreed, and Vivi hopped upright, "Alright! Come on, Carue. We're heading out of town!" The Spot Billed Duck gave a "Kwehhhh!" And awaited to have the two board. Vivi got on and Kohza hopped on behind her. He wrapped his strong arms around her and grabbed the reins, "Ready, Vivi?"

"Ready as I'll ever be!" Vivi said. Kohza didn't think twice now. Vivi was so happy, he smiled himself now as she snapped the reins and had Carue jet out of town.

---

"Picnic time, picnic time!" Chopper shouted, spreading the blanket out. It was officially Picnic Day for the Usopp Pirate Crew, and although Luffy wasn't a member, he was cordially invited as an honorary guest. Luffy just figured there'd be food.

Kaya giggled at Usopp, Tamanegi, Ninjin, and Piman, as they fought with each other who got to eat first. Kaya had brought the picnic basket, Usopp had brought the blanket, and Chopper provided the site, right outside Dr. Kureha's tree house. It took only a second before the picnic was set up, and everyone settled down to eat, drink, and be merry. Luffy provided the entertainment, although most of it wasn't on purpose.

The festivities continued until they heard some laughing in the distance. Everyone stopped and turned to see Carue, approaching the picnic goers. The Spot Billed Duck stopped before Usopp's Pirate Crew and Vivi waved at the group. Kohza was busy holding the reins, "Good day to you, my friends!"

"Vivi!" Kaya said, standing up, "Good morning!"

"Oi, Kohza!" Luffy said. He stood up as well. Chopper and the other younger three children didn't know Vivi and Kohza very well, but the others were all peers. They had shared the same class for half their lives, and were all good friends.

"You having fun, Usopp, Luffy?" Kohza asked and Vivi and Kaya began conversing, "Lady Vivi and I are taking a ride in the plains."

"Have fun then!" The sharpshooter said, "Be careful and don't get hurt!"

"I don't intend to," Kohza replied, "Lady Vivi, shall we head on?"

"Hai," Vivi replied, "Have fun, Kaya!"

"You too, Vivi!" Kaya responded, waving as Carue sped off. Usopp, Luffy and Kaya all waved, and the four younger boys were playing amongst each other. When the elder people came back, they decided to continue their picnic.

---

"Kweh!" Carue cried, trotting gaily along the plains right outside of town. Kohza held tightly to Vivi to make sure she didn't fall, and she whistled only a bit as she looked about the place. They were heading east, and if they continued to wander in that direction for three days, past the mountains, they would be able to arrive in East Town, where she heard many of her friends, Luffy, Usopp, Kaya, and others, originally lived before moving to Grand Line Town. Sanji's aristocratic parents lived in North Town, she heard. It was nice being able to just think like this on the plains. Nothing could disturb them…

Suddenly, from the hill only a few yards away, an bullet whizzed right behind Kohza, barely missing his hair. Vivi gave a gasp and Kohza held tighter, "Dammit! Vivi, hold on tight. Carue, get us out of here, they're bandits!" Vivi gave a gasp as suddenly Carue did an about face. If she hadn't held on like Kohza had asked, she would have been sent tumbling, even with her friend's strong arms to protect her. Carue went off like a shot from a bullet, faster than a lepord, for, that was as fast as Vivi boasted he could go.

Kohza caught a glimpse of a sword, shining in the sun. The bandits were pursuing. Ha. They would not catch Vivi's Spot Billed Duck. There was no wa…

There was the sound of gunshot, and Kohza was sure the next arrow had missed, but there was a sound that could only mean one thing. They were not aiming for Kohza, but for Carue…

"CARUE!" Vivi shouted as the duck faltered for a moment. He tried for a moment to continue running, to protect his riders, but Kohza was just too heavy, he suddenly dropped to the floor, crashing bill first into the ground. Kohza didn't waste a moment as Vivi fell to the ground, rolling a few times through the tall grasses. He jumped off of Carue and over Vivi, drawing out his own sword. He could spare no time in tending to the Spot Billed Duck, and allowed the mayor's daughter to do that instead. He rushed the three bandits, shouting a war cry. Vivi sat up just as Kohza rushed into battle, "Koh… Kohza! Kohza, come back! Don't fight them! KOHZA!"

The young man drew his sword up and blocked one of the swordsman's strikes. Although he was no master, he was well adept at the sword, and trained more in defense than offence. He kept all of his strength to protect Vivi, and hoped beyond hope that she would have the sense to run. He lagged for just a second, and one of the men kicked him away. Kohza sputtered, and before he could lift his sword, a knife came down upon him, slicing upward along his right eye. The boy fell backwards, grabbing his eye. It was closed, so it barely missed the eye. If it had done any damage, it would have been useless the rest of his life. He moved to stand, but one of the bandits stepped down on his hand, forcing his sword down.

"Kohza!" The boy knew what that cry of distress meant. He looked up and saw, upside down, as the two other bandits grabbed the young woman. Carue struggled in vain to assist his owner, but he could not and risk being killed and roasted, "Kohza! Kohza, help me!"

"Vivi!" Kohza shouted. He gave a cry as the bandit brutally stepped on his wrist, practically breaking it. He reached out and grabbed the ankle of the attacker, "Bastard… If you TOUCH her…"

The bandit leaned down, smirking at the young man, "Don't worry, young one, she will not be harmed… IF we get what we need. Tell Cobra that we demand a hundred thousand beli. If he doesn't come up with the money in two days…" The man suddenly drew back his foot and slammed it into the boy's head. Everything went black.

---

"I didn't think he could get hurt out there… Did a Plains King get to him?"

"Don't say that! Vivi was with him!"

"I didn't say anything."

"You just did!" Kohza began to blink. There were two voices. One, high and frightened, the other, old and wise, "You just DID say that maybe a Plains King got to him! Vivi couldn't have gotten eaten!"

"Lady Vivi!" Kohza cried, sitting upright. He knew exactly where he was, "Dr. Kureha! I need you to send for Mayor Cobra! A bandit group has kidnapped Lady Vivi! They wish a ransom! Please, please tell him! Tell him Vivi is in danger!"

Chopper gasped, and the aged lady was instantly at his side, "Ah, so you're awake. Now, perhaps we should speak of payment…"

"Doctorine!" Chopper said, rushing to his mother's side, "Kohza doesn't have money to spare! I'll do extra chores for him. Please, let him go to Cobra!"

Kohza was trying to get out of bed, and the doctor grumbled angrily, "Your duck's fine. The wound is clean, just go, and be quick about it."

"Thank you, Old Lady," He said, bowing and trying to be respectful. However, he was respectful in the wrong way. The young man was chased from the house, running from axes and swords. One was even a spiked ball! That doctor was the weirdest lady Kohza had ever met. Untying the Spot Billed Duck, Kohza mounted the bird and urged him on. He MUST get to the mayor's house and tell Cobra of Vivi's kidnap!

Chopper watched as Kohza rushed off, "Hopefully…" The reindeer murmured, "Vivi will be okay…"

"I don't doubt it…" Doctorine said, drinking another pint of Plum Juice, the secret to her youth, "She's a strong girl, and Kohza's a brave boy. She will be fine."

Chopper sighed gratefully. His mother was usually right about these things…

---

Kohza rode through the town, past the many inhabitants. Sanji cursed at him as he rushed by, and Apis waved. He was about to arrive in the downtown district when he suddenly pulled the reins back. Carue stopped dead. He looked to his left, and saw the bar that his mother ran. Suddenly, he recalled that moment in the morning when he said he would protect Vivi. Running to Cobra and asking for him to pay the ransom was a silly idea. He had a better idea.

Hopping from the Spot Billed Duck, he rushed inside, throwing back the doors, "Red Haired Shanks!" He shouted, calling out the name of a famous swordsman who was once the greatest in all the world. Shanks turned slowly, his eyes resting on the young man as he stomped forward, "I need you to apologize for what you did to me, Shanks."

The man blinked his drunken eyes at Kohza, and the boy's mother stared at him. Never had he actually spoke Shanks' old battle name! It had been two years ago when the teacher had fought as a swordsman! Shanks continued to stare at Kohza, as if peering into his soul. Closing his eyes, he answered, "I understand. I am sorry for making fun this morning."

Kohza smirked, "If you're really sorry…" He said, pointing to the sabre that always hung at his hip, "Take up that sword, and help me save Lady Vivi from those bandits!" There was silence for many a second, and Kohza began to sweat. Would Shanks agree?

Shanks sighed, and turned to face the boy, still sitting on the stool, "Explain what's going on. Then I'll assist you…"

TO BE CONTINUED…

---

Yachtzee, I really hope you like it so far. I promised, Makino's in it, and Shanks DID hit on her! Hahaha!

Wait until I finish the second part. You'll love it!


	4. Vivi's Bodyguard 2

Second part of Yachtzee's present story. Contains slight MakinoxShanks, because she likes it. Hehehe.

---

One Piece: The Mayor's Bodyguard  
Part 2

Makino gasped as Kohza relayed the information to his former teacher, Shanks. Vivi was kidnapped by some bandits that had harmed him and Carue! Without a ransom of a hundred thousand, Vivi would be hurt too! "That's why, Red Haired Shanks…" He pointed at the man with a defying pose, "You have to come and save Lady Vivi with me!"

"Kohza!" The boy's mother cried, slamming her hands on the bar, "You will do no such thing! You could be hurt! Can't Cobra just pay the ransom?"

Shanks smirked at the woman's worried tone, and he stood up, "Bandits shouldn't be able to do whatever they want, right, Kohza? You're thinking like a good swordsman…"

"Not swordsman!" Kohza said, crossing his arms, his brows knit, "I'm a defender!"

Makino was about to speak up, but Shanks held his hand up and smiled down on Kohza, "A defender… The most honorable of professions. How can I turn such a man down?"

Kohza gulped. This man meant what he said, "A… Alright! We'll work together to save Lady Vivi!"

"Shanks! You can't take my son along! He may be hurt!" Makino cried, taking the man's cloak. It would have found an arm if she hadn't grabbed him on his left side. He waved his right hand at her and smiled.

"You did not deny your husband when he moved here from East Town in search of a better store, did you not? Why deny your son his own profession?" The teacher asked. Makino bit her lip.

"Toto was an adult, and he didn't do anything dangerous by moving here! I couldn't bear it if my son were to be hurt."

"I beg your pardon, Makino, but he already has," Shanks replied, pointing at Kohza's wrist, which was wrapped up nice and tight from the fight with the bandits, "I'll make sure nothing happens to him. I swear on my honor as a teacher."

Makino took a deep breath, and nodded, "And as a swordsman…" She added.

---

"You're pretty brave, Kid. Not just anyone would force a teacher to do whatever they wanted." Shanks said as he walked out of Grand Line Town. Kohza was riding Carue, who would have none of it when they asked him to head home and wait for their return. Vivi was an important Nakama to him! She fed him!

"My name is not 'Kid'!" Kohza fumed, "The least you could do is call me by my name!"

"Kohza…" Shanks began, "Bet you didn't know, but your father and I were good friends back when he was alive. Did you know it was because of me that your parents met?"

"Don't lie!"

"I'm not," He said, "I was still a traveling swordsman by then, and Toto was my primary source of groceries. He always kept his meats at a low price. One day, when I was in East Town, I met with Makino and returned to tell Toto of this gorgeous beauty! I mean, she was one in a million!"

"Don't talk about my mom that way!"

"So sorry," Shanks apologized, "Anyway, Toto was just about to head there for a shipment, and decided to go see what I meant. It seems he thought she was one in a million as well."

"Stop talking about my mom that way, pervert!"

"Jeez, you never shut up, do you?"

"Not when you're talking about my mom like you wanna bone her or something!"

"Bright kid, you know what that means."

"Bastard!"

"I'm just saying," Shanks continued, wrapping up his story, "That I've known Makino much longer than you've existed. It's playful banter. I never actually MEAN to bone her, although…"

Kohza was on Carue, so he was tall enough to smack the teacher over the head, "You'll bone her over my dead body!"

"Sure sure Kid."

"NOT KID!"

---

Hiruma the Bear laughed out loud. This was the most simple ransom job he had ever done! He looked at his three bandit underlings, and smirked at the girl, curled up the corner, sobbing quietly. Her hands and feet her bound, and she was gagged, and she seemed smart enough not to move now. Hiruma couldn't believe how much she kicked and screamed when they dragged her off to his hideout in the mountains! Ha, that stupid boy was probably crying to her father at this very moment…

"Hiruma the Bear! I'm calling you out!" A voice shouted from outside the hideout. The bandit gulped as they looked up at the door, and Vivi smiled a bit. They found the hideout!

---

"Did you have to shout that?" Kohza asked Shanks as he stood there, his right hand on his hip.

"They'd have known we were there if we messed with the door in anyway, and this way, we can sound dramatic!" Shanks said, winking at the boy. Kohza growled under his breath. Sometimes the simplest way was the best way… "Either way, prepare yourself, they will come soon, and it will be in the least honorable way…" He drew his sabre with his right hand, even though it was on his right hip, and he flipped it around so he could wield it. That teacher sure had a strange way to do things… Pulling his own sword out, he held Carue's reins with his other hands as the door burst open, and three men leapt out at the two, with one in the doorway, weilding a pistol. Shanks rushed the three swordfighters and shouted out, "Kohza! The gun!"

"Gotcha!" The boy said. He urged Carue on and the Spot Billed Duck expertly dodged the multiple men, and even sailed gracefully over a fallen bandit, to land right in front of the enemy gunman. He gave a gasp and took a step back, but Kohza was fast, and sliced the man across the chest, then kicked him to the ground. He stayed down, although the boy knew he was just playing dead.

Turning to the scene behind him, Shanks was dispatching the second bandit with ease. Hiruma was suddenly at his side, "You bastard… Grand Swordsman or not, I'll take something with me! Your arm!" He raised his sword, and Kohza gave a gasp.

"Shanks!" He cried as the sword came down on Shanks' left arm. The cape tore easily under the sword, and Kohza's eyes widened. Shanks didn't HAVE a left arm! All that was left was a stub…

"Sorry…" Shanks murmured, his eyes closed. He then opened them, his eyes dark, "But I lost that LONG ago!" He raised his sword and slammed its hilt into Hiruma's face, sending the bandit sprawling on the ground.

"Shanks…" Kohza murmured as the teacher sheathed his sabre. Hiruma and his lackies were twitching on the floor, "Wh… What happened?"

"Gangrene," Shanks said, smiling. Kohza stared as Shanks fingered the sleeve that was pinned closed, "Some bastards jumped me, and I got a cut before I could take them out. Didn't realize it was infected until it got really bad." He began walking into the hideout, where Vivi was awaiting saving, "You wouldn't believe how much you lose your popularity when you aren't whole."

"You stopped being a swordsman because of a measly arm?" Kohza cried, dismounting Carue to catch up to the teacher on foot, "That's got to be the stupidest reason I ever heard!"

"No one wanted to come see the swordsman with a disability," Shanks said, "And since I was missing an arm, I was acknowledged as a cripple. No man could fight me in a 'Fair Fight'. My swordsman days were over." He knelt down by Vivi, and began to untie her before he released her gag. Kohza suddenly felt mad. Shanks was as good a swordsman as any man with two arms! The nerve of those dumb rules! He used his sword JUST fine when the boy saw his former teacher fight!

"You alright, Lady Vivi?" Shanks asked, helping her up as she removed the gag.

"Y… Yes…" She said, smiling. She suddenly gave Shanks a hug, "You two… You two are the best!" Kohza sighed happily. She was safe…

"KWEEEEEH!" Carue shouted, rushing up to her. She rubbed her Spot Billed Duck on the head, "You all… Came for me… Thank you…"

---

Kohza blinked past sleepy salt filled eyes as he stared at the ringing alarm. Reaching out, he finally was able to press the snooze button, and settled back down to sleep. Last night he didn't get any sleep because Cobra was holding a party in Shanks, his, and Carue's honor. Heh, it was great, but it lasted so long Makino had to carry him home. Ahhh, his mother was the best… After his remenincing of last night, he suddenly heard the clinking of glasses and the talking of people. Young Kohza grabbed his pillow and thrust it over his head.

Finally giving up, he dragged himself out of bed and turned off his alarm. Those dumb people, waking him up! He hated those damned thin walls. Stomping out of his house, he entered the bar that his mother, Makino, owned. He stared at her, one of his eyes twitching from lack of sleep. The woman looked down at her son, "My, Kohza. You look like you haven't slept a wink!"

"I didn't." Kohza muttered, sitting on one of the barstools in front of his mother's bar. He looked up at her and smiled, "But it's okay. We need the money."

Suddenly, a large pint slammed next to Kohza, "Oi, Makino, be a dear and fill this up!" Kohza smirked at the man. It was Shanks, who was, until a long while ago, the most famous swordsman in the world. Kohza was the one of the only men who knew the reason he became a teacher in Grand Line Elementary. It was a simple reason, Shanks lost his arm and was unable to enter in swordsman competitions. Well, actually… Kohza didn't mind that. He figured Shanks could still be the best swordsman, if only the world would let him try. He used to hate the man. However, ever since he assisted Kohza in saving Lady Vivi, Mayor Cobra's daughter, he figured that even if he was a womanizing, boozing bastard, he was still alright.

Makino noticed the smile on her son's face, and beamed, as if to say, "You wouldn't mind, would you?" as she went to fill Shanks' pint with Sake. Kohza looked at his mother, and grinned, as if to reply, "If you must…"

He hopped off the barstool and said, "It's Monday today, Shanks, so you're going to have to wait for your date until AFTER school, got it?" As he left the bar, Shanks' drinking buddies burst into laughter, and Makino giggled.

"He's got you pegged, hasn't he?" She asked.

"Toto, what kind of son have you given me?" Shanks asked, chuckling to himself as he stared deep into the pint of Sake.

---

"Good morning, Kohza!" Vivi said. Kohza waved as the mayor's daughter stood by the gates of the high school. They walked into the gates and talked with each other, past Robin and her Girl Gaggle; past "Lord Sanjdi" and his LARP friends; past Zoro and Tashigi, plus their spectating friends; and they stopped right by Usopp, Luffy and Kaya.

"Oh! Vivi! I heard the news!" Kaya said, hopping from the bench where the three were eating breakfast, "How are you? Did they hurt you?"

"That's so cool, Kohza! You beat those bad guys to a pulp!" Usopp said, punching the air, "Of course, if I were there, you wouldn't be able to SEE me attack!"

"I heard you fought alongside Shanks!" Luffy shouted, "You're the luckiest kid ever!" He grabbed his straw hat, "Once, Shanks wore a straw hat just like this one during his fights. It was all the rage to wear one then, remember that?"

"Not really, weren't we all like, three years old?" Kaya asked.

"Well, my dad got me this hat for Christmas when I was three!" He said, hugging the brim with his fingers, "I've had it ever since! If only I could Shanks to sign the ribbon!"

"Luffy… He was your teacher for an entire year," Kohza said, "Why didn't you ask him then?" The boy blinked. Obviously he hadn't thought of that. The defender sighed, and rubbed his head, "Well, Vivi, it looks like things are back to normal."

The mayor's daughter giggled, "Certainly seems that way, Kohza…"

**THE END!**

---

Hope you liked it, Yachtzee! I really enjoyed writing it!


	5. Sanji's Birthday 1

Sorry everyone! I was really, REALLY tired, and probably on crack, and I wrote the worst piece of crap I've made since I was fifteen. I didn't even notice yesterday that I put it up in such horrible, HORRIBLE condition! I make a few typos in my others that I don't feel is worth updating on here, but this one was just crap. It's NOT Gallery-La Company, Christy, it's Galley-La! I need to beat it into my head, I mispelled it not once or TWICE, but EVERY time! Gahhhhh!

Enough angsting. I fixed it all up and I hope you enjoy it. With school started and Final Fantasy 4 Advance, updates are going to be made sparingly. And I will NEVER write when I'm tired again! I swear an oath to myself and you, I will no longer write crap!

Anyway, This story was kinda showing off the fact that lots of kids think they can rule their own lives once they turn 18. This story is also telling people that thisis a myth. The second and third parts of this story will reveal to you the crappiness of such a myth. Remember! Woooooooo!

Another thing, I'm sorry that Sanji and Califa are personality changed. I wrote around Sanji's LARP obsession, and this is what came out. I needed an overprotective mother, and this is what came out. However, I LOVE Lucci to death. Hattori is too cute not to love!

One last thing, I'm sorry for those who have not seen very far into the OP story, such as the dub watchers. You will not know who some of these people are. Sorry again!

---

One Piece: The Best, and Worst, Birthday Present

Lord Sanjdi Ligor of the Ravenous Mountains stared at the scene before him. There was a giant, black tower, the Tower of Doom. The Dark Master, Ginuous Kenteg had kidnapped Princess Conis Frillis Beautiga II and sealed her away at the top floor of the tower. He would not let the Dark Master get away with the villiany he thought he could. Not if Lord Sanjdi had anything to do with it! Leaping from the cliff he was standing on, he fell three stories before he landed on the floor with catlike grace. He drew his sword and slew the guards in the front of the tower. Rushing through the tower, he killed any in his path, practically flying to the top of the tower. He came to the top, and forced the lock by slicing it apart. It was easy with the legendary sword Exalibur. Kicking the door open, he rushed into the room. He hissed at the Dark Master Ginuous Kenteg, and his eyes scanned across the room. The beautiful Princess Conis Frillis Beautiga II smiled at him, "Lord Sanjdi!"

"Fear not!" Lord Sanjdi shouted, "I will save you, Princess Conis!"

"You could not harm a flea, let alone the Dark Master Ginuous!" The Dark Master shouted, rushing the Lord, "You will DIE!"

Suddenly an old man in an extremely tall chef's hat walked into the doorway and in between the battle that was about to ensue. The two fighters stared at him as he turned to face Lord Sanjdi, "Oi, Sanji. It's dinner time, you're helping me make it, right?"

---

The scene melted away. Princess Conis turned into regular Conis, who whined, "That's no fair! Now I have to wait until tomorrow to get saved! You know, standing here with my arms up like this," She showed off, as if her arms were chained to the wall, "is boring! You guys better not drag that fight out tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Sanji," Gin said, smiling. He held his hand out and Sanji took the boy's arm, which was a ceremonious way of greeting and leaving back in the days of old.

"See you tomorrow, Gin," Sanji replied as his uncle, Zeff, stood by him. Sanji, Gin and Conis were inseperable, because the three of them would always Live Action Role Play (Or LARP) together. Today's game, however, was over, and the three had no trouble returning instantly to their other personas, although Sanji preferred to think of himself as an alter ego. It was like Superman. The hero was the real identity, while the young boy was the fake persona.

"Come on, Zeff, let's go home," Sanji said as the three children dispersed. Zeff was the only adult who really knew about his LARPing sessions. They were usually held in Sanji's backyard. He was actually very self consious about it, thinking it was childish to play like they were children. The words "Role Play" were, after all, a ploy to make games of stick swords and tablecloth capes sound like they were for older people. Sanji didn't buy it; he knew it was childish. However, he couldn't stop playing. He was as addicted to it as he was addicted to nicotine.

"Oh, by the way, Little Eggplant," Zeff muttered, opening the door inside the house, "We have a surprise for you." Sanji walked into the house and stopped dead in his tracks, unable to move.

"MY BABY!" Califa, Sanji's mother and Zeff's younger sister, assaulted her "baby boy" and smothered him with kisses. One of the reason Sanji picked up smoking was with the hope that she'd be turned off by his bad breath. Not a chance, apparently, "My baby! I haven't seen you in a year!"

"That's because you and Dad dumped me here," Sanji said flatly, removing himself from his mother, "Next time you come over here, you tell someone."

"But Darling, I did!" Califa said, smiling, "I told your uncle I was coming! It's your birthday present!"

_Am I really that old? _Sanji asked himself as he put his cigarette out in the ash tray on the dining room table. Yeah, now that he thought about it, tomorrow was his eighteenth birthday. He was a senior, after all… "Your present to me was you coming to visit me? Oh well."

"But Darling," Califa whined as Sanji settled himself down at the table, despite the fact that nothing was made yet. He propped his feet up on the wood as his mother continued, "Your father and I are divorced. His assets are rock hard! I think even I lost something from the separation. I don't have the money to buy you a present you deserve!"

"I don't need a present," Sanji replied. It assured his mother. _The present I want is to be with my friends, rather than you. _He thought to himself, about to light another cigarette.

Zeff smacked him upside the head, because the chef refused to let Sanji smoke in his house. It'd make the entire place smell of smoke! "Come on, Sanji, we'll make dinner together." The senior growled and stood up, following his uncle into the next room. Califa called that she was going was going to wait at the dining room table until dinner was ready. Once the two entered the kitchen and they started up the ovens, Zeff looked at his nephew, "So, Little Eggplant, I noticed that you're fighting with the Dark Master again. Didn't you defeat him a little while ago?"

Sanji smiled as he started up the burner. His uncle always was interested in what happened in the Soap Opera LARPing sessions he and his friends played. It made him feel like someone understood him, something that he never got back at home. He wouldn't trade this life for all the money in the world, he had promised himself when he first moved in with his uncle, "Well, after I saved Princess Conis, I returned her home and the king gave her hand to me in marriage!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, we're going to be married in a month," Sanji added.

"I bet you're shaking with excitement."

"I would be, if the Dark Master didn't kidnap her again a week later. Now I'm just about to save her by fighting him once again!"

Zeff smiled at the news, "I wish you luck." Sanji suddenly heard a "Ding!" and realized that when he was explaining everything, the dinner was ready! Although it wasn't a big surprise; sometimes Sanji would explain everything that happened through the day all the way into dinner.

The two brought out dinner onto the dining room table, and like last night, the dishes could hardly be fit on the tiny circular dinner table. The three began to eat their food, and Califa started dinner conversation, "So, Sanji, how has your schooling been going?"

"Wonderfully!" Zeff shouted before Sanji could brush the question off. He puffed himself up and smiled at the boy, "He's been getting straight A's. Gate student, you know. Solves things in ways most people don't even think of."

"Gate's not so cool," Sanji muttered, "Luffy's in Gate…"

"How is the darling?" Califa asked about the rubber man, "He was such a little cutie. Always so bright and happy."

"I don't care," Her son replied, shrugging, "I don't like him much. I don't hang out with him."

"But you do have SOME friends, right?"

"So what if I don't?" Sanji growled, "You and Dad ruined my social skills."

"Darling, you don't need to be so rude…"

"Oh yeah?" Zeff wished that for once his nephew could go through a meal without biting someone's head off, "Well, I don't care about my father or whatever gift he'll get me."

"Darling… Your father is ill…" Califa interrupted, sniffing. Sanji stopped everything he was going to say as his mother broke down. Even Zeff was rather surprised. When one divorces another, one usually tries not to be attached to said divorcee, "It's terminal… He won't last the next week."

Sanji froze. His father was the healthiest man he could think of. How… How could he be dying? Zeff wiped food from his moustache, and his nephew stared at his food, poking it with his fork, as if to look like he still had an appitite. "I wanted to tell you at another time… But I couldn't think of a better time, and, well, we were talking about him, and…" Califa continued to sob. Sanji didn't move. He simply stared at his food.

---

No person could ask for a better day on his (or her) birthday. Bluebirds chirped, the sun shone, and the wind blew slowly, just enough to have the trees sing their songs with the birds. Sanji, on the other hand, wasn't happy. He hardly slept at all. He didn't care much for birthdays, ever since he was little. His father would buy him a bunch of toys he wasn't interested in and usually threw away the next morning. His birthdays consisted of curling up in his room all day and drawing maps of terrible dungeons he would imagine crawling through. This day wouldn't be much different, although he would probably spend it with his friends, rather than with himself.

Walking down the stairs to the first floor of his uncle's house, his curly eyebrow upturned at his weeping mother. The letter she had in her hand could only be one thing… Zeff held his sister's hand and sighed, giving what comfort he could. Sanji tried to look casual in his night gown (He swore he was going to kill his mother when she bought it for him last birthday), but inside he was reeling. His father… wasn't supposed to be dead… He wasn't supposed to die…

"Sanji…" Califa cried. The boy nearly leapt back, and his mother looked up at her son, tears in her eyes, "They're calling you home. They're going to read the will, and you're the only one who was invited."

_Dammit, _Sanji thought, _There goes my idea of playing with Gin and Conis._ "Whatever." He said, shrugging it off.

"Stop lying to yourself, Sanji. You can cry," Zeff said. Sanji growled at his uncle being able to read his mind and stomped back up the stairs to his room. A few minutes later, he was clomping back down in his rather large, shiny shoes and fancy tuxedo, a gift from his now deceased father. He opened the door, lit a cigarette, and waved.

"Tell me when I have to leave. I need to tell my friends where I'm being forced to go on MY BIRTHDAY!" He shouted, slamming the door. One of the pictures on the wall, the one showing Sanji, Zeff, and his parents (His father's face was coincidentally shined out), fell to the floor, the protective glass breaking.

"That kid…" Zeff murmured, "I doubt he'll ever change."

"My baby…" Califa cried, wiping her wet eyes on a handkerchief.

---

"You father died?" Conis cried when Sanji relayed the news to his friends. The girl couldn't believe it, "That man who sent you all those great gifts? I'm sorry, Sanji…"

"Thanks for the sentimentality, Conis-Chan," Sanji said, smiling at her. She blushed as Sanji lit another cigarette, "But I don't really care about the crappy moron."

Conis gasped, "But he's your father!"

"Doesn't mean I have to like him," Sanji said, blowing some smoke into the air. He looked across the way at Conis as she sniffed a bit. He shut his eyes and sighed, "Conis-Chan, please don't cry…"

"Tears are still you weakness, eh Sanji?" Gin asked, smirking. Sanji's biggest weakness was women, but the worst part was if any woman shed tears. He couldn't stand the fact that he could hurt a woman, be it physically or mentally.

"Shut up, Gin, or I'll do more than just beat the crap out of the Dark Master," Sanji growled. He took a drag of his cigarette and released the smoke into the air, "So we won't be playing today. I need to head out and listen to the reading of the will."

"Maybe your dad left you some nice things behind for you," Conis said, trying to sound optimistic.

"I never liked my dad. Whatever the rich bastard gives me, I'll throw it away," Sanji muttered. Conis' optimism was shot, "I mean, seriously. The Galley-La Company is going to his foreman, Iceburg, and his house is going to his most trusted cook and butler, Patty and Carne. He didn't love me, so he's not giving me anything of any importance."

"Maybe you're right…" Conis muttered, swinging her legs as she sat on the fence in front of Zeff's house. Suddenly, the door opened and Zeff walked out, followed by his sister.

"Oi, Little Eggplant, you're out of here. Get to the airport, you've got fifteen minutes," Sanji's uncle said. It seemed that Califa wasn't crying as much. Sanji's eyes widened.

"Fifteen?" He shouted, leaping from the fence, "If I'm late, it's your fault, Crappy Geezer!"

"See you later, Little Eggplant!" Zeff called. Conis and Gin watched as Sanji rushed off, and they looked back at their friend's uncle and mother.

"Ohhhh, so my darling DOES have friends!" Califa said, smiling at Sanji's LARPing friends, "I knew it!"

---

Sanji muttered angrily as he got off the airplane at the North Town Airport. He looked around, and got his bearings. After lighting another cigarette, he placed his hands in his pockets and wandered into the town. He knew how to get to his old house in the middle of town, mostly because it was so large anyone could see it just by looking up. With a growl, he wandered angrily into the town.

He arrived at the gigantic mansion, and many of the servants waved at the boy, recognizing him from when he was little. There were only two servants Sanji didn't recognize, and the one that was most prominent was a young blonde man with goggles. He seemed just about as antisocial as Sanji. Well, then he wouldn't have to worry about that newcomer. With a tip of his head to some of the female servants (who giggled back), he opened the door, and walked into the giant main hall.

There, Lucci, his father's lawyer and reader of the will, met with the boy, "Good day!" His bird, Hattori, said, "It's been nearly two years until I've seen you, Master Sanji!"

"Shut it, Ventriloquist," Sanji growled, referring to the fact that Rob Lucci was a ventriloquist and always spoke through his pidgeon, "I'm here only for the reading of the will. After that, I'm out of here."

"Whirrrrhoooooo!" Hattori squawked, pointing to a door with his wing, "Right this way then, Master Sanji!" Lucci turned and walked where his pidgeon pointed, and Sanji followed close behind the lawyer. There were many people that Sanji recognized in the room Lucci showed him into, but one, he didn't seem to know… It was a man with a scar across his face, and he was smoking a cigar. He wore rich clothing, and Sanji wondered if his father and he met while he was away with Zeff. Hattori showed Sanji a chair at the front row, next to Patty and Carne, and waited as Lucci sat down to read off the will, through his pidgeon, of course.

"There are two inheritors, Whirrrrrhoooo!" Hattori said as Lucci read off the will, "Crocodile gains the Galley-La Company and its assets and Lucci inherits the mansion and all of its items!"

"The Hell?" Someone shouted angrily as Lucci started tossing it behind his shoulder unceremoniously.

"That sounds like crap!" Patty shouted, standing up, "Come on, you guys can't be the only people he's giving to!"

"I would advise you to shut the hell up," The man Sanji didn't recognize said, standing, "I, Crocodile, will run the Galley-La Company well." Iceburg, who was in the room as well, scoffed.

"Tell us everything, Lucci! What does it say on that piece of paper?" Carne yelled. Hattori raised his wings.

"Whirrrrrrrhoooo! Calm down! I am… I mean, Lucci is reading it right now!" The pidgeon cried. All eyes were on Lucci as he caught the paper in midair and looked through it, and Hattori said, "If Sanji, his son, is a legal adult, then instead… He gains all the assets that his father owned." Lucci placed the paper on the desk as Hattori continued, "However, it seems that…"

"Today is my birthday," Sanji interrupted. All eyes were on him, and he looked up at Lucci, a smirk on his face, "Today is my birthday. I am 18 years old, and therefore, a legal adult."

The room was silent for only a moment, and then Patty and Carne took the man's hand and lifted him from his seat, dancing around in circles, "Master Sanji, such wonderful news! You have inherited everything you father owns!"

"Yes…" Iceburg said, smiling softly at the heir, "Consider this… His ultimate birthday present to you…" Sanji simply smiled. It was true… He inherited it all. Sanji wasn't sure why, but he was happy. He was the owner of the giant Galley-La Company and king of one of the biggest castles in the world…

Then why… Why did he have a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he spied that Crocodile man?

TO BE CONTINUED…

---

If you're rereading this after the CRAP I wrote, hopefully this is better than last time I sent this up.

You know, the usual, R&R so I know what's going through your mind when you finish reading this.


	6. Sanji's Birthday 2

Guys, I'm sorry, but I've been sick for such a long while, I'm just putting up half of the chapter. The other half isn't finished. This probably means it'll be 4 parts long, although it may become five, if it gets too long. Sorry for the long update. I need to go to sleep now. I've been way too sick to continue for a while. Sorry once again.

---

One Piece: The Best, and Worst, Birthday Present

Part 2

Last morning Sanji was awoken by sunlight and birds outside his window, because his uncle couldn't afford a decent alarm clock. This morning, the heir was awoken by a 100 decible alarm that played "Watashi ga Iru yo" in his ear. Sanji flew out of bed in a panic and fell to the floor, his ears ringing. He lowered his head so his eyes were covered by his bangs, and suddenly he shouted, "This is the coolest thing ever!"

Sanji was the son of the richest man in North Town. The man once owned the Galley-La Company and the largest mansion in the Northern Territories. He died yesterday, the very day Sanji turned 18, and Sanji inherited the entire estate and all of its assets. Sanji didn't want to admit it last night, but he was stoked.

"Oiiii! Carne! I want food now!" He shouted over the alarm. Standing up, he practically leapt over his kingsize bed and slammed his fist on the alarm, shutting it up. His eyes then spied a new carton of super fancy smancy cigarettes! Oh, life was good! Snatching them up, he lit the nicotine filled wonder and took a long, hard drag, "PEH!" He shouted, "It tastes like crap!" He stared at the cigarette as it continued to create smoke, and he smirked, "However, it tastes like rich crap!" He stuck it in his mouth and crossed the thirty foot room to his giant vanity. He stared at himself and smiled at the image it created, "Yeah, definitely more sophisticated with THIS in my mouth. Think of all the women who'd want to hang out with me because of this!" He thought about the women, clinging to him like he was the last man on earth, and he laughed, "No one will make fun of 'Sanji, the LARPing Loser' again!"

It was then that the door opened, and Carne, the quickest butler in the mansion, rolled in a trolley with food, "Master Sanji, your breakfast is ready!"

"Alright!" Sanji shouted, rushing to the food. Food always tasted better when you didn't have to cook it, and he was making his own food for the past year! Zeff always made him make his own food. It was the only reason he was the best cook in Grand Line High, "Thanks a bunch, Carne!"

"Your welcome, Master Sanji," The butler said as Sanji dug in. That new servant with the goggles that Sanji saw yesterday busted in, his hand pointing at his watch.

"Oi, Master Carne!" The man said, "You should be overseeing the gardens now! It's 6:00!"

"What the hell?" Sanji shouted, leaping up from his breakfast, "I've only got an hour to get to school! If I miss a day, Zeff's going to kill me!"

"With all due respect, Master Sanji," Carne said, sweating a bit, "But as the owner of Galley-La Company, you needn't really worry about school. Perhaps, we could just enter you in some Independent Studies…"

"Get my Dad's… I mean, my personal Helicopter, and get Kokoro on it. I'm heading to Grand Line High…" The boy growled, stomping from the room. Carne looked at the other servant, and they shrugged their shoulders.

---

"Sanji's never been this late!" Conis cried, pacing back and forth, "He's always early so we can play!"

"Perhaps he's too busy," Gin said, "You know, he did visit his father's estate. Perhaps he's taking the day off? Who wants to take two airplane rides in the same day?"

"I guess you're right," Conis said, "But waiting to be saved is no fun!"

"Think about it on my side. I've died and ressurected myself how many times?" Gin asked, thinking, "I've lost count." The two looked about the schoolyard, suddenly realizing there was a lot of commotion going on outside the school gates. Gin and Conis looked up, and they blinked as a helicopter decended from the skies. It was landing right in front of the school, in the street! It must be someone really important who would decide to come in such a flashy fasion like this!

"Wonder who it could be?" Luffy wondered, getting excited. The entire school was staring as the helicopter landed, and the people in the front, Zoro, his cousin and the sisters Mikan, waited until the door opened. The entire school held their breath as a man stepped out of the helicopter, and many of Robin's Girl Gaggle fainted.

Zoro turned and shouted behind him, "Oi, it's just Sanji, the LARPing Loser!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?" The entire school screamed, falling over. Sanji didn't seem to have heard Zoro over the roaring of the helicopter blades. He was shouting at someone, but no one could hear him over the roar. Finally, he waved his hand behind him as he skipped down the helicopter and plugged his ears as it started rising into the air.

Conis and Gin shoved through the crowd, and the girl rushed up to hug her friend, "Sanji! That was amazing! Where did you get such a big chopper like that?"

"Chopper?" Luffy cried from the back, hopping up and down so he could see the front, "Where?" Sanji smiled at Conis and Gin, and explained everything as the school went back onto the grounds. As the three walked off towards the building, some of the other students listened in, and Robin's Girl Gaggle huddled.

"Sanji's inherited all that money?" One gulped.

"He's the greatest and best eighteen year old alive now!" Another said.

A third, the most romantic and shallow, giggled, "Think of it if I married him! I'd be the queen of a mansion!"

"Not if I can help it!" A fourth, the second most shallow said, "I'll marry him! Right, Robin?" The woman flipped a page and continued walking to the building. She didn't reply.

"I think I should marry him, I look most like Conis!"

"As if he likes Conis. I think they've been on and off for months. He's probably leading her on."

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, they say."

The fourth gulped, "Maybe I don't want to marry him after all…"

---

"Oh my…" Conis murmured as the three friends entered the school building, "You mean you're the richest man in North Town now!"

"Yeah, and fourth richest in the world," Gin said, "Sounds like your luck has finally paid off."

"I have this funny feeling, though," Sanji said, "As if death were looming right around the corner…"

"Sanji-Sama!" Just then, around the corner, came Robin's Girl Gaggle. They glommed onto Sanji like he was the last man on earth, "We never thought you were a loser! We all thought you were so cool with your cool cigarettes!" The LARPers looked at the women, and looked up at Robin, who continued to walk down the hall. Although the school referred to the women as Robin's, but Robin herself didn't seem to notice they were alive sometimes. Perhaps it was to prevent embarrassment.

Gin sighed. Sanji's one weakness was women. With all these girls on him, he seemed to change before their very eyes. A lecherous smirk appeared on his face and he slowly let the women fall into him. Gin looked up at Conis, "You shouldn't look, Co…"

Suddenly, the girl smacked Sanji upside the head, startling everyone in the hall. Conis never acted like that! "Lord Sanjdi! Get up! What do you take me, Princess Conis, for?"

Gin smiled. Conis never acted like that, but Lord Sanjdi's fiancee, Princess Conis, was amazingly tomboyish. The girls whined as Sanji waved them away, and he stood up, brushing himself off, "Sorry, Princess Conis."

"Awww, he turned back into the LARPer!" They whined, "LARPing is so stupid!" They disappeared quickly, following after Robin in a hurried rush. Sanji sighed at the women as they left, and turned to Conis and Gin. They seemed happy, and that's the way he wanted it.

It was then that the bell rang, and the three gave a yelp in surprise, "Oh crap!" The three ran to their rooms in a flash.

---

The Usopp Pirate Crew's biggest news was Sanji's new title (In fact, Sanji had also inherited his father's title, making him a knight of North Town). They started working hard so their spy network would know everything new about Sir Sanji. As Usopp, Chopper, Ninjin, Tamanegi, and Piman worked together, walking down the street, they noticed an unfamiliar sight. Conis and Gin were sitting together on the fence outside Conis' house, but Sanji was nowhere to be seen. This was very strange, as the three were hardly ever seen without each other. Usopp approached the elder kids, because the others were smaller, and didn't know Conis and Gin that well.

"Hey, what's going on? Where's Sanji?" Usopp asked. He hoped he'd find out soon, because the more time spent on his spy job, the less time he could have playing One Piece: Grand Battle with Kaya (Damn, she played that Navigator Woman really well!).

Conis looked at Usopp, and looked down at the floor, "He went home."

"To Zeff's?"

"No, his new home," Gin saidm his arms crossed, "In North Town. Why go back to his uncle's when he can order servants to do his ever bidding?"

"How is Princess Conis going to get married to Lord Sanjdi without Sanji around?" Conis asked, a tinge of worry in her voice, "It's no fair…"

"Well, he's super important now. Hopefully he's not taking it like an ass," Gin replied. Conis twiddled her thumbs worridly.

---

"Allllllllllright! This has got to be the best day of my life!" Sanji shouted, hiccuping wildly. He randomly decided that he needed to find out what Sake tasted like… "Now I know why Zoro guzzles this down by the gallon! Bring some more!"

"I bet he can't even think properly now," Carne moaned to Patty, who was handing some more Sake in bottles and having them sent out to the one man party, "Shouldn't we stop him?"

"Hey, the way I see it," Patty said, "If he dies of alcohol poisoning, I figure we'll get the place." Carne gave him a mortified look, and the cook smiled, "Nahhh, I'm joking. Seriously, if Sanji takes after his father in any way, then he's not going to die from three bottles of Sake. He's the son of one of the healthiest men around, you know."

"I… I guess…" Carne looked at the drunken man as he sprawled himself on his couch, laughing insanely.

"More! More more more!"

---

The days passed slowly for Sanji. The next day he arrived at school, more hungover than Zoro ever was (as the cook didn't have much alcohol tolerance), and he began acting like a complete ass, as his mood was shot. He told Conis off, kicked Gin in the stomach, happily allowed Robin's Girl Gaggle to cling to him like a bunch of parasites, and interrupted every class he was in. Everyone hated him by the end of the day (except the Girl Gaggle), and when he stopped being as hungover, he didn't really understand why everyone were being morons. That day he decided he wasn't going to return to school. Dropping out was fine. He had the money to support himself, "Kokoro!" He called to his helicopter driver, "Tomorrow, you'll get the day off. I am not returning to school anymore."

Kokoro downed some more of her sake, and had to relinquish it to her employer, before starting up the helicopter. As it began to lift off, Sanji looked out the window, and saw Conis and Gin right outside, staring at him. With a smirk, he pulled his eyelid down and stuck his tongue out. Gin looked outraged, and Conis' eyes widened. Ha, those stupid people…

"Get home as fast as you can," Sanji said, crossing his arms angrily, "I'm bored of just sitting here forever."

"Forever, huh?" Kokoro asked, laughing her deep gutteral laugh.

On Friday, Sanji continued to live out his life inside his mansion, annoying the hell out of all the servants (Although they would NEVER tell him). He refused to work on the Galley-La Company, because it was "Boring", but refused Iceburg the ability to work himself, because that would make him "Co-Owner".

However, even now the man was getting bored. He swung lazily in his hammock out on the front lawn of the mansion, thinking of what to do. Nothing seemed to come to mind, until someone passed by him. It was that new servant with the goggles, "Oi! Get over here!" Sanji shouted at the servant. He looked up at the master of the mansion, and trotted over to Sanji, "What do you do on your days off, anyway?"

"Yes Sir, I'm sure KNOWING people's names aren't required where you come from…" The servant grumbled. Sanji wanted to smack the moron upside the head as he answered the question, "I usually head down to Rain Dinners when I'm done with work."

"Rain… Dinners?" Sanji asked, crawling out of the hammock, "Oh yeah, what's your name, anyway?"

"You can call me Paulie; It's really Paul," Paulie lied. Sanji pursed his lips, and Paulie sighed, "My mom thought I was a girl when I was born…"

Sanji burst into laughter and Paulie growled, "Hey! You wanted to know about stuff to do on breaks, right?" The owner continued to laugh for only a moment, and then finally settled down.

"Alright. Tell you what. When you get your first break, take the day off and bring me to this Rain Dinners. We'll have fun together, just us men, alright?" Sanji offered, smiling. Paulie looked overjoyed, and nodded. As he went off to work again, Sanji suddenly started laughing, "Didn't she notice that you had a… You know…" Paulie slammed his fist on the cook's head in a fit of anger.

---

Paulie took Sanji to Rain Dinners during his lunch break. It was a giant casino, and Sanji looked happy from the mere sight of it. He had never gambled before, and with all the money he had, what was a few hundred dollars lost? Paulie had the right idea, coming to a great place like this!

"What are we waiting for, Sanji?" Paulie asked, lighting a cigar and walking in, head erect, "Let's show everyone what great gamblers we are, stick with me and you'll be rolling in dough!"

"This coming from the man who's working for ME every single day of his life?" Sanji asked, nudging his new friend in the side. Paulie gave a chuckle as the two mingled with the crowds. Roulette, slots, and more, Sanji tried everything, and lost tons of money while he was at it, although some of it was loaning money to Paulie, who lost that money too.

"This has got to be one of the best days of my life!" Sanji shouted happily, laughing as he lost another hundred at the roulette tables, "It's so much better than LARPing with those morons back at Grand Line Town!"

Paulie suddenly gave a whoop, "I just won three hundred dollars!"

"You lost five hundred already!" Sanji roared, slamming his fist onto the table multiple times, laughing out loud, "gambling has got to be the worst, and best, way to spend your day!"

"You got that right, Sanji!" Paulie replied, laughing.

"You seem to be having fun," Someone behind the two young men said. Sanji was holding his side, and Paulie's knees were giving out. Sanji turned around, and his laugh caught in his throat. It was… It was that man… Crocodile…

"Owner Crocodile…" The runner of the roulette table said. All of the other people at the table blinked as Crocodile looked down on the young men.

"Sanji… I've heard of you from your father," Crocodile said, "You look so much like him…"

"You knew him?" Sanji asked, "Since when?"

"He visited here once, about a year ago, and we went out for a drink. We became fast friends, and he would speak about his son so much…" Sanji stared at Crocodile as the owner of Rain Dinners led the man off, "I'm so glad to finally meet you, Sir Sanji."

"Sir"… It sounded cool! Sanji forgot he had that title, and he shivered with excitement. Paulie was about to ask if Sanji was going to continue playing with him, but the man blew him off. Sanji needed to speak with this guy…

"You must have been a great person…" Sanji said to the man, the sinking feeling he once had about the man all but disappeared, "Dad wouldn't be friends with just anyone!" He seemed to have forgotten, in all this time, that he hated the man only a few days ago.

Crocodile smiled a smile that would turn the stomach of a normal person inside out, and wrapped his arm around Sanji's shoulder, "Perhaps we could talk some more in the back rooms, over some sake and senbei?"

"Of course!"

TO BE CONTINUED…

---

Hope you guys enjoyed it. R&R.


	7. Sanji's Birthday 3

Aww freak! Finished in one day! That... means it'll probably suck! Um... Actually, it's pretty cool... READ!

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One Piece: The Best, and Worst, Birthday Present

Part 3

Paulie grumbled a bit. He had borrowed tons of money from his employer, Sanji, but now that he left with the owner of the casino, Crocodile, he had no money to gamble. Dammit… Turning around, he wandered through Rain Dinners and sat himself down at a Beri machine. Pulling out one of his last coins, he started playing at the slots. He'd soon be out in only a little while…

---

Meanwhile, Sanji thanked one of Crocodile's workers (He had a leather jacket that read "I Heart Miss Valentine") as he gave him another ten senbei crackers lined up in an adorable circle. Sanji held up his empty sake glass, and the man who Hearted Miss Valentine took it with a scoff, leaving the room with Crocodile's empty glass as well.

"So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" Sanji asked, a smile on his face. Crocodile's smile answered the boy's, and the owner of the casino began his explanation.

"You see, when I first heard about you from your father, I thought about meeting you… I never had a wife, and I've never had any children, well, from what I know." Both Crocodile and Sanji chuckled a bit, and he continued, "But as I thought about meeting you, I wondered what it would be like to have a son. I know losing your father was a terrible loss, so I was wondering…

"Sanji, would you come visit me on some days? It would be great to spend a few days with you. You could be like the son I never had." Sanji sat in the chair, chewing on the senbei as the Miss Valentine Hearter returned with two new glasses of Sake. Sanji took his glass and downed it in one gulp.

When he drew the glass away from his lips, he said, "Crocodile, you got yourself a deal!"

---

It was Saturday when Chopper walked down the street of Grand Line Town, a rather large suitcase in his hands. He was practically dragging it down the street as he approached the house that Gin lived in with his father, Don Kreig, "Oiiii! Conis!" He shouted at the girl who was sitting on the driveway. The reindeer waved at the girl and she hopped up, rushing over to help the reindeer.

"Couldn't you have transformed, Chopper?" Conis asked, taking the suitcase from the boy.

"Doctorine would kill me if I came back from the trip with rips and tears on my outfit," Chopper replied. As the two walked back to the driveway, the garage door opened and a rather old, kinda beat up car was driven out. Gin smiled.

"Isn't she wonderful?" He asked, "Dad bought it for me back when I was sixteen!"

"Awesome!" Chopper shouted at the car, "I can't wait until I can drive!"

"Pile in!" Gin said as Conis placed both Chopper's and her stuff in the trunk of the car, "We're heading off to visit Sanji on the weekend!"

"Hooray!" Conis cried as she and Chopper entered the car and Gin fired the car up. He backed out of the driveway, and started off down the road. They only got a few feet when…

"HEYYYYYYY! WAIIIIIIT UPPPPPPP!"

---

"Why are we taking him?" Conis asked Gin as she sat in the front seat. Gin sighed and motioned to the back of the car with his head.

"We're taking Chopper with us because Usopp wanted us to. He needs to do some spy work on Sanji's new assets. I tried to not let him come, but Usopp blackmailed me," Gin replied. He refused to tell Conis WHAT he was blackmailing the LARPer about.

"I don't mean Chopper!" Conis said, pointing at the OTHER person in the back, "I know that! How come we're taking HIM?"

"Chopper!" Luffy shouted from the back seat, "Why were you going to leave for the weekend without me? We were going to play this weekend!"

"Luffy…" Chopper whined, "I left everyone this weekend! I could be playing with Apis or Robin or Usopp or Kaya! I wasn't avoiding you personally!"

"Sure…" Luffy muttered, puffing up his cheeks and crossing his arms. Chopper sighed; this was going to be a loooooooooong weekend…

---

It was nighttime when Sanji returned home with Paulie, who dwelt in the mansion with the other butlers. Sanji bid the goggles butler good night, and wandered up to his room on the third floor. He brushed by one of the maids, who blushed and giggled when he winked at her, and opened the double doors to his room. Flopping on his bed, he thought about visiting Crocodile tomorrow. Perhaps spending time around him would make him more mature. Cooler, as well. Perhaps he should smoke cigars too. They were manlier than cigarettes anyway. Seriously, cigarette? Cigar, plus ette? He wasn't some pansy girl!

He continued thinking about how much his life had changed as he grew older. He suddenly had a pang in his heart when he thought of Lord Sanjdi. He was just aching to get out. But Sanjdi was just a child's imaginary character. He would never let himself become that kind of moron again. He was an adult, not a kid anymore!

But everytime he thought of that, he could just imagine Princess Conis crying…

---

"WAAAAATASHI GA IRU YOOOOOO!" The alarm blared, making Sanji fall out of bed with a yelp, like last morning, and the morning after that. Damn, being rich was the best thing on the planet! He hopped back up and turned off the alarm, and got ready for the day. He walked from his room, dressed up in his usual tuxedo, and wandered down the grand staircase to the main room. He blinked when he saw who was in the room already. Why, it was Lucci and Crocodile! He waved at them and Hattori greeted the young master.

"Whirrrrrrrhoooooo!" Hattori cried, "Good Morning, Master Sanji!"

"Hey, Lucci. Hello, Croc, what's up?" Sanji asked. He didn't seem to notice Crocodile twitch from the informal nickname.

"I came to pick you up. Lucci and I are going out to a golf court. You should come with us."

"Golfing?" Sanji sputtered, flabberghasted. So THAT'S what old rich dudes did! Really, it didn't seem very appealing, but Sanji was rich now, and soon he'd get old, so he might as well start learning how to be a rich old dude like them, "Alright. I'll get my limo waiting."

"No need," Crocodile said, waving away Sanji's attempt to snap for a butler, "We'll take mine, it's already there."

"Master Sanji, before you go," Carne said, rushing up to the three from the front door, "You have some visitors." The three looked at each other, and Sanji shrugged.

"Bring them in," He said. Lucci looked angry and Crocodile sighed, but Sanji smiled, "Don't worry, it may be something important. I'll fix it up real fast."

"Whatever," Hattori grumbled, crossing his wings. The door closed and Sanji gasped as who he saw. It was Gin and Conis! And Chopper and… Gate Kid Luffy? Why the hell were THEY here?

"What are you…"

"Don't 'what are you doing here' US, Sanji!" Gin shouted as Chopper pulled out a notebook and started writing things down. Luffy was poking Hattori, and the pidgeon was puffing itself up angrily, and Conis was hiding behind Gin as Crocodile glared down at the four newcomers, "You little bastard, leaving us all alone and acting like a bastard this Thursday! What kind of moron ARE you? I thought you were better than these rich bozos! I thought you were cool!"

"I don't need you to tell me how to live my life! You're younger than me anyway!" Sanji retorted.

"It's no fair! I've been waiting for so long!" Conis cried, "Aren't you coming back to play with us?"

"I'm NEVER playing with you guys again!" Sanji roared, interrupting everyone and making them stare at him, "Who the hell wants to play a bunch of idiotic, childish games with losers like you? YES, Conis! LOSERS!" He looked at Crocodile, "Come on, we're out of here." He placed his hands in his pockets and walked off. Gin and Conis stood, stone face and silent, as Crocodile and Lucci followed close behind Sanji. The only sound was Chopper scribbling stuff down, and Luffy poking a rare, expensive vase. Suddenly, Sanji heard another noise, a sob…

He turned around, and saw as Conis started to cry. Gin was hugging her as she continued crying. Sanji stopped for a moment, staring at the girl as she continued to sob into her friend's chest. It was his one weakness. He… He hurt a woman… How… How could he hurt a poor, defensless young woman?

"Sanji?" Crocodile asked, looking at Sanji when he stopped walking, "Something… Wrong?"

"N… No…" Sanji murmured, regaining his composure for a moment, turning around and leaving the house.

The door closed behind them as the four looked on. Silence. It was then that Luffy cocked his head to the side, "Wow… Sanji's an ass…"

"What's gotten into him?" Gin murmured as Chopper continued to scribble. Gin was about to ask if the reindeer was even TRYING to be fazed by the terrible behavior of his friend, but he noticed that Chopper's eyebrows were furrowed angrily. The writing had increased so much that Gin couldn't believe the writing was even legible. Gin sighed. Even Chopper was furious with Sanji's terrible behavior. He looked at Conis, and licked his dry lips, "Come on, Conis. Let's go home. We don't have to worry about him anymore…"

"No…" Conis said, wiping the tears from her eyes and glarind at Gin with a determined look in her eye. Gin recognized it as Princess Conis' famous glare, "We are NOT leaving until we get him back!"

Luffy blinked at Conis, and Gin smiled, hugging his best friend close to him, "As you wish, Princess Conis…"

---

Hattori chuckled under his breath as Sanji's golfball flew unceremoniously into the rough once again. Even for his first try, Sanji was really, really sucking. He was like a five year old. "It's not funny," Sanji muttered, stomping off after the ball. It was the last hole (Thank God), and it was practically ten at night. It took Sanji another quarter hour to get the ball into the hole, and the three decided to retire to the golfclub house. As the three went for the house, four heads poked out of the bush behind them.

"Alright," Gin said, "We need to find a time when Sanji's alone to talk to him."

"Luffy and I will take care of that Lucci and Crocodile," Chopper offered.

"I wanna beat the crap out of that Croc," Luffy said, cracking his fingers.

"Why?" Conis asked.

"Don't know," Luffy said matter-of-factly, shrugging, "He just annoys me."

Gin smiled at the younger boys, "You two'll be fine. Come on, Conis, let's go," He said, standing. Conis followed her LARP friend and Chopper and Luffy snuck off the other way. Operation Bring-Sanji-Back-Home was officially put into motion.

---

Sanji was out of it. The reason he couldn't golf that day was because he was feeling like crap. He tried not to think about it, but the only thing on his mind was Conis. She was… Crying… Sanji cursed to himself, hating himself that he could EVER make her cry. He had promised himself he would never make a woman cry. He wasn't eating his slurpie, and when asked about if he was okay, the cook stood, "I… I need some fresh air. I'll be right back…" He stood and wandered off, deep in thought.

"How long are we going to wait?" Hattori asked, leaning in close to whisper to Crocodile, "Haven't we waited long enough?"

"Patience, Ventriloquist," Crocodile responded, raising his hand to silence Sanji's lawyer, "I think first you should take care of those two in the window." Lucci turned around and saw Luffy, drooling at the food the two men were eating. His face was pressed against the glass so his nose was pulled up like a pig's snout, but he didn't seem to care. Chopper was scared that they had noticed them! Crocodile stood, "I'll take care of Sanji while you're at it."

"With pleasure," Hattori muttered as Lucci stood up and adjusted his tie. He then went to meet with the two onlookers. He left the house and approached the two delinquents. Chopper got scared and hid behind Luffy, who looked up and wiped his chin of saliva.

"Hey, Mister!" Luffy said as Lucci approached them, "Canni have some of your food? It looks really good!"

"Luffy!" Chopper cried hoarsly, "That's Crocodile's friend, and he doesn't look very friendly!"

"Oh, really?" Luffy asked, staring at Lucci as he glowered over the boys, "Oh, and I wanted to beat up the Croc, too!"

"Crocodile is busy with Sanji at the moment," Hattori said as Lucci cracked his fingers, "I need to make sure you don't interrupt them…"

"I don't understand. Why are you two so intent on Sanji?" Chopper asked, his information gathering side forcing itself out in the open. He was determined to get to the bottom of this, like he had every single time a mystery appeared in Grand Line Town. He knew this was North Town, but he didn't care! It involved Sanji, and he was from Grand Line Town, no matter WHAT he inherited or from where!

"You don't understand. Sanji has inherited quite a large sum of money. You see, we want to make sure that it doesn't remain in the possession of such a stupid boy. While we fight right here, Crocodile should be taking care of Sanji as we speak…"

Chopper looked in the window and noticed that Crocodile was gone! He looked at Luffy, "We have to beat this guy up fast, Luffy! Sanji's in danger!"

---

Sanji shuffled his feet only a few yards away from the golfclub. He was looking down, and as Conis and Gin watched from a little ways away (in another bush), Conis felt almost sorry for him. Almost…

"Something the matter, big guy?" Crocodile asked, approaching the boy. Sanji nearly jumped a foot and whirled around.

"I told you! I want to be alone," Sanji growled, "Leave me alone."

"Tell me what's wrong," Crocodile said, "I'll help you."

"You can't," Sanji replied, staring at the man, "You're the reason behind it!" Crocodile was taken back, and the boy gathered the courage to continue, "It's all this fame and power! It's changed me! I finally realized that when…

"I hurt someone very close to me…" He licked his lips, "Crocodile, I'm sorry, but this is the last day I can hang out with you. I need to head home and think about what I'm doing with my life." Conis sniffed and wiped her eyes of tears that were forming, and Gin smiled. Finally, he realized the fact that he was being an ass! Conis was about to leap from her hiding place when Gin suddenly grabbed her and dragged her back. Crocodile was talking…

"I… I'm sorry you feel that way, Sanji…" Crocodile said, lighting a cigar and taking many puffs to start it off, "I was beginning to think you were going places, like your father."

"Screw my father!" Sanji shouted, "He was a bastard and too rich for me or my mother! The only reason she left was to get away from his controlling bastardic ways!"

"So you hate your father then…" Crocodile murmured. The way he spoke made Sanji's blood run cold. He raised his hook, his golden hook glistening in the sun. Sanji took a step back as he removed the golden top off, revealing a steel hook with holes, "Perhaps you should thank me when I poisoned him with this…"

Gin, Conis and Sanji all gasped, and it took everything Sanji had not to collapse, "What… The Hell?" All he could hear was his own voice screaming, "My father was healthy! The healthiest man alive! How the HELL did he die?" "You… You BASTARD!"

TO BE CONTINUED…

---

Badabam! One more chapter to go and then this'll be done! All right!


	8. Sanji's Birthday 4

OH MAN. I loved writing this. I really really SUPER really hope you like it! It's the END of Sanji's Birthday Story! Yay!

Also, I'm sorry, but this is the last story you're going to see in One Piece: Kids for a long while. There are other stories I have thought of making (One stars Chopper, another Robin, and a last one, Zoro), but there are so many other stories I haven't finished, I don't want to start anymore for a while. Hope you enjoy it. READ ON!

---

One Piece: The Best, and Worst, Birthday Present

Part 4

It took everything Sanji had not to collapse when he heard that Crocodile was the one who killed his father, who left his entire estate with his son. He still couldn't believe it, "What… The Hell?" All he could hear was his own voice screaming, "My father was healthy! The healthiest man alive! How the HELL did he die?" "You… You BASTARD!"

"I can't believe it…" Conis murmured, covering her mouth with her hands, "Poor Mister Sanji's Dad…"

"Do we even know what his name is?" Gin asked himself.

"Not really…" Conis replied after a little thought, "I'm not even sure he really existed…"

"Oh wait! Sanji's out there with Crocodile!" Gin cried, forgetting their doubts because of their friend, "Stay here, Conis, I'll help Sanji. It's too dangerous for a woman!" Conis gasped when Gin leapt from the bushes to assist his friend.

"Hey! That's discrimination, you know!" Conis shouted, suddenly realizing exactly what her LARPing buddy had said.

"Don't worry, Sanji…" Crocodile said, raising his wickedly sharp and scary poisoned hook, "You'll go to visit your father soon…"

"Like hell!" Sanji growled ferally, "You little piece of crap, I'm going to make sure you never see the light of day again!"

"Not without me!" The two looked at the voice that was heard, and Sanji smiled; Crocodile looked exasperated. Gin stood before the two, his powerful weapons pulled out. His father, Don Krieg, always wanted Gin to be "The fiercest kid on the block", and with those weapons, there wasn't a doubt in anyone's mind that he was, "Sanji, we're friends. The two of us either do everything together, or nothing at all. Got it?"

Sanji gave a happy sigh. He really, really didn't want to do this alone. He reached up to wipe his stinging eye, when he suddenly noticed it was stinging because he was crying, "Thank you… Thank you, Gin…"

---

"Guard Point!" Lucci's Shigan (Finger Gun) nearly broke through poor Chopper's fur, and sent the reindeer flying. Landing a few feet from the battle, the lawyer was suddenly attacked with a barrage from Luffy.

"Don't you DARE hurt my friend!" Luffy shouted as he attacked, "Gomu Gomu no Gatling Gun!"

Hattori flew into the air as Lucci drew his arm up to protect himself, "Tekkai!" And his skin grew as hard as steel. Luffy's "Gatling Gun" left nary a scratch on the evil lawyer's body.

Luffy took the time that Lucci was recovering from his protection ability to arrive at Chopper's side. The reindeer looked out of sorts, "Chopper… Chopper, are you alright?"

"A half a minute…" Came the squeaky, shaky reply.

"…Huh?" Luffy asked, not understanding what was going on (As always).

"Just give me a half a minute, and I'll give you the secret to defeat him," Chopper explained, hopping up in his small form. Dropping on his two feet, he clasped his two hooves together, peering through the hole it created, "Brain Point! I'll find your weakness!"

"My weakness?" Lucci asked (Amazingly, not through Hattori). He gave a light chuckle, "I'm not allowed to have weaknesses…"

"And why not?" Luffy asked, puffing his face up angrily as the lawyer began pulling a paper out. Chopper was still analyzing, not trusting the enemy.

"It says right here," Lucci bent over to allow Chopper to peek at the paper through his hoof hole. The contract read:

"By Order of the Authoress, Lucci is not allowed to have any weaknesses. Signed, Chrisanthy Kohn."

"As you can see," Lucci said, rolling up the paper and sticking it back in his tuxedo, "I'm weakness-proof."

"Blackmail!" Chopper shouted, still analyzing, not believing it, "You blackmailed the authoress! With what?"

"If she didn't write the contract," Lucci explained, "I would force her to give up her pocky for rest of the year." Luffy and Chopper gasped. That sort of blackmail was particularly scary. The authoress would never live to see the next chapter of her stories!

"You fiend!" Luffy shouted, shaking his fist, "How dare you blackmail the authoress!"

"You don't even know who the authoress is," Hattori said, landing on Lucci's shoulder. Luffy stared for a moment. Silence…

"I guess you're right!" Luffy replied, smiling. Lucci almost fell over, but regained his composure quickly.

"I got it!" Chopper shouted, grabbing his notebook and his pen, "I got his weakness! Luffy, hold him off!"

"What do you think you're doing, you punk?" Lucci growled. Luffy stood in front of Chopper as the reindeer wrote furiously. Hattori lifted off and flew away as Lucci suddenly began to change. He transformed from a handsome man into a hulking, brutish leopard! "I won't let you do whatever you wish to do. You and your friend are going to die today…"

"Luffy, I'm sorry!" Chopper shouted, still writing. He didn't want to put his friend in danger, but right now there was nothing else to do. He had to finish this! Without it, they would never be able to defeat Lucci!

"Shigan!" The huge leopard shouted, rushing forward, his index finger's claw extended, intent on putting a hole through both Chopper and Luffy. The boy grabbed his reindeer friend and dragged him away. The reindeer was still writing, refusing to mess up now. If he stopped in the middle, everything would be for naught!

Luffy dug his feet into the ground to stop the two of them from flying any further, and the boy gasped as Chopper wriggled quickly from his grasp. After the reindeer was free, he finished writing in the notebook which was in his hand. Luffy stared at his friend as Chopper smiled, "It's finished! I know what to do now!"

Lucci pulled his finger from the wall after missing the two kids, looking at the damage it created. He turned to his enemies, and Chopper prepared for his next Shigan strike by standing in front of Luffy, "You protected me…" The reindeer said, smiling at his friend, "Now it's my turn to save you!"

"Shigan!" Lucci shouted, rushing forward, claw forward, as Chopper transformed into a hulking human. With a roar, he braced himself and slammed the notebook at Lucci. The lawyer's finger struck the notebook, tore a hole through towards the bottom of the notebook, and continued on through the young boy's palm; Luffy gave a scream.

"Chopper!" Luffy screamed as Lucci drew his finger back. Chopper let the notebook drop in his other hand, to keep his blood from spreading through the pages, "Chopper, you… Are you alright?"

"I'm fine…" Chopper said, transforming back to his normal, small form, "And we've just won!"

"What are you talking about, you little runt?" Lucci asked as Hattori landed on the leopard's shoulder. Chopper pulled a paper from the notebook, the one he was writing on, and smiled, gritting his teeth from the pain. He showed Lucci the notebook paper, victory certain with this paper.

"Read it off, Mister Lawyer. You'll see why we just won…" Chopper said, waiting as Lucci fixated his cat eyes on the paper. His eyes then widened.

"No…" Lucci murmured, staring wide eyed at the paper, "No… You didn't…" Chopper's smile only widened. The paper read:

"I, Lucci, Lawyer of Sanji, accept the terms never to harm Sanji or anyone else, for that matter, for as long as I live. I accept these terms with my finger hole upon this piece of paper: Signed…"

"No…" Lucci couldn't believe he fell for such a simple trick as he stared at the hole in the paper. He was now, legally bound to the fact that he could never hurt a living soul again, "No… You didn't… How could I have not noticed it from the beginning…?"

Chopper laughed as Luffy began smiling himself, "You've noticed by now that this tear can only mean that you, with a claw, ripped through this piece of paper, huh? It HAS to be your mark! And now, MISTER LAWYER…" Chopper drew the paper back and stuffed it in his backpack, his smile smug, "You know that we have just figured out your weakness. And we have just… won…"

"I have been defeated…" Lucci murmured, returning to his human form, "By… a little kid?"

"Not just any kid," Luffy shouted happily, hugging his friend, "A REINDEER!"

"Yaaaaaatta!" Chopper screamed, throwing his hands back, not even worrying about the fact that Luffy was hugging him or his hoof was bleeding heavily, "I am now a LAWYER!"

---

"Let's do this!" Gin shouted, beginning to twirl his iron ball weapon. Sanji leaned on his right leg, his left leg out, preparing a fight. Crocodile smiled at the two. He seemed to have something up his sleeve.

"One Minute…" Crocodile murmured, "If you cannot defeat me by then, I shall kill you both." Gin's weapons were twirling in a blur, and he rushed forward to attack first. He slammed his weapon in Crocodile's side, and Sanji cringed, expecting Crocodile to be snapped in two from the force. The aristocrat was half right; Crocodile split in half! The part that was damaged simply turned to sand and flew away. Crocodile then returned to normal, as if nothing happened. Gin and Sanji stared at Crocodile as he lit a cigar, "The Suna Suna (Sand Sand) Devil's Fruit. It allows me to transform into sand and use it to fight. I've… upgraded myself a bit, making it so that I turn to sand before I even get harmed. You can't touch me…

"30 more seconds…"

"How the hell…?" Sanji murmured, his cigarette falling silently from his mouth. He couldn't fight someone who couldn't be DAMAGED! "Gin, HUDDLE!" His friend was at his side, "How the hell do we fight him? HOW?"

"I…" Gin stared at Sanji, his eyes wide, "I… I don't know…"

Meanwhile, as the boys conversed with each other, trying to find out a way to fight Crocodile, Conis sat in the bushes, watching from the sidelines. She looked worried, "I need to help those two! This isn't a battle for the women, ha!" She rubbed her tongue on her top lip, thinking. "How…" She murmured to herself, "Do you keep sand from breaking up…?"

She looked around, and smiled at a merman, watering the plants near her. Hatchi was wistling to himself as he watered the plants with… "Water!" Conis leapt up and grabbed the watering can from the poor octopus man named Hatchi, "Thanks, I'll give it back, I promise!" She shouted, whirling around, willing all her courage to her feet as she rushed over to the scary Crocodile man. Hatchi whined as he stared at his six hands.

"My watering can…" The merman cried, big tears falling from his eyes as he sniffed.

"Time's up…" Crocodile said, bringing his poison hook up, letting the steel glint in the sunlight, "It's time to say 'Good night'…"

"I think we should say that to YOU!" Conis' cry filled the air; Sanji and Gin stared at the girl as she lifted the watering can high above her head. She slammed it down on the casino owner's head, showering in him with cool, fresh water. Crocodile's enemies froze, staring at the wet man with wide eyes as he sputtered angrily. His eyes shone with anger and Conis dropped to the ground dantily, "Don't you DARE hurt my friends, you jerk!" The girl said, gulping a bit as Crocodile whirled around to face her; his hair fell around his face in wet strands, his nostrils flared, and his eyes were wide with anger. It scared Conis out of her wits, and she gave a cry, throwing the can into the air, nearly falling on top of Crocodile's head again.

With a sweep, Crocodile gave the girl a backhanded strike across her cheek, sending her sprawling to the ground with a cry. Conis sniffed as she sat up, rubbing her red cheek and sobbing. Crocodile turned back to Sanji and Gin, but faltered only a moment as the two glared daggers at their opponent, "You bastard…" Gin growled, bringing his weapons back up, "She's our friend…"

"Don't you DARE hurt a defensless woman!" Sanji screamed, "I'm going to kick your ass, you crappy like piece of…"

"Sanji, watch out!" Conis cried. Sanji ducked under the poison hook by an inch, barely getting cut by the attack. Gin started twirling his weapon as Sanji, with his stomach exposed, continued falling backwards. He placed his hands on the floor like he was preparing a crabwalk, but kicked his legs up, right into Crocodile's jaw.

"Mâchoire (Jaw French) Shoot!" Sanji screamed, sending Crocodile flying into the sky. Sanji finished his backflip and landed on his feet, Crocodile landing on the floor just a foot away from Conis, who promptly stood up, grabbed the watering can (She needed to return it to that nice merman!), and rushed to Sanji's side, hiding behind the cook.

Crocodile stood; he looked like he was loaded for bear. He rushed Sanji, and the cook prepared to defend himself from the hook. Crocodile attacked with his fist, which connected nicely with his opponent's jaw, sending the boy flying into the wall of the Golf Course Café, "No! Sanji!" Conis screamed, rushing to get to her friend's side. Crocodile grabbed her wrist, keeping her from moving.

"Shut up…" Crocodile murmured, lifting his hook, "You won't need your voice soon enough…"

"No…" Conis cried, trying to wrench herself free, "No! Gin, HELP!" Crocodile was hit in the head. Gin had slammed the giant iron ball into Crocodile's ear. The man would never be able to hold onto the girl with that blow. He was thrown into the bushes Conis was in only moments before, and Conis rushed behind Gin, grabbing the back of his coat and sobbing into it, "That was… So scary…"

"Don't worry, Conis," Gin said, "This battle may be for a woman, but I will not let him hurt you again."

"Gin… If I didn't hate your other ego, I'd actually be slightly turned on by all this…" Conis murmured in response, blushing a bit and biting her thumb. Gin chuckled under his breath.

Sanji approached the two, "Oi… That's my future wife you're hitting on, arch nemesis of mine," He said, rubbing his head. Conis giggled through her blushing. Two brave knights, fighting for her safety. It was a woman's dream. Yet, even though all this, the three of them refused to abandon those people they were on the inside… "Gin, head over there. Conis-Chan. Stay here. I'll be right there, whatever you do, don't move. Gin, you know what to do."

Gin stared at Sanji as the aristocrat rushed over to another location, and Gin realized what his plan was. Conis looked to her friend for an answer to the riddle that Sanji created, and a smile was all that was given for a reply. She stared as he walked away from her, twirling his iron ball ever so slightly. It was then that Crocodile dragged himself from the bushes, and his eyes locked with Conis, who stared at him like a rabbit, frozen with fear. Gathering her courage, she shouted, "You… You think you can beat us? Sanji and Gin'll beat you into the ground!". The casino owner smiled, drawing his hook up and rushing to jab it into the girl for her short speech. Her legs nearly gave out from fear, but she trusted her friends, "Gin, Sanji, DO IT!"

Crocodile was hit by Gin, who erupted from the bush behind Conis, his weapon flying. The iron ball slammed hard into Crocodile's stomach, sending the enemy flying, right into… Sanji stood behind Crocodile, and smiled, flicking away another cigarette as he prepared his strike. He slammed his shin into Crocodile's side, sending him into the air, and as he came down, Sanji drew his foot straight up into the sky, kicking the enemy in the back, "Anti-Manner… KICK COURSE!" He screamed, throwing Crocodile into the air. Gin and Conis stared at the casino owner as he was sent flying into the sky, and they blinked when he disappeared into the air, creating a small sparkle as he disappeared. Sanji drew another cigarette from his tuxedo, but before he lit it, he drew the package out, sighing at the "Rich Boy's" cigarettes. He chucked them away, preferring not to smoke at all than smoke something that tasted as crappy as THAT. He suddenly smiled, his eye turning into a heart, "Princess Conis! Are you okay? That terrible monster didn't HURT you, did he?"

Conis almost cried. How long had it been before he had acted like a womanizer before? She much preferred the Love Cook over the bastard rich boy, and rushed towards her friend, "Lord Sanjdi, I'm FINE!" She cried, leaping into the man's arms, tears streaming down her face, "Sanji… I thought that I had lost you…"

"Oi oi oi…" Sanji murmured, rubbing the girl's hair, and playing with the bon bons on her head with his fingers, "I would never… never… abandon you."

"You had us worried there for a moment, Lord Sanjdi," The Dark Master said, smiling at his rival and arch nemesis, "I thought for a moment that you wouldn't come back to us…"

"Who would I marry if you went away?" Conis asked, her face buried in Sanji's tuxedo, ruining the outfit with her tears.

Sanji looked at The Dark Master Ginunous Kenteg and Princess Conis Frillis Beautiga III, and bit his bottom lip, "Dad…" He murmured, hugging Conis for reinforcement as he began to break down, "I avenged you. May you rest in peace, you healthy bastard." Gin watched as Conis and Sanji continued to cry. He was glad they were letting it out of their system. The next day, they'd look even better than ever. Placing his hands in his pockets (As his weapons conveniently disappeared around this time), he watched the scene unfold, wiping his nose with his finger to hide the fact that it was running from the tears he was hiding.

"Oiiiii! Are you guys okay?" Chopper asked, approaching the three, waving. Gin looked up at Chopper and Luffy, who were dragging Lucci behind them. He looked thouroghly whipped, enough to make Gin smirk.

"What happened with the lawyer?" Gin asked as Sanji released Conis, who continued to hold the cook ("Melloriiiiiiine!"). Chopper pulled out the paper, and explained how much his plan worked.

"Now, he's perfectly safe!" Chopper said, smiling.

"Don't lie," Sanji said, staring at Lucci with a glare, "He's going to go to jail. I'm going to make sure he never sees freedom again…" He pried Conis from his overcoat with some hesitation, and walked over to Lucci, "However, I am willing to give you a little time before I sic Hina on you. I need you to do a few lawyerish things before I… 'let you go'." Conis smiled and the guys chuckled amongst each other and Lucci tensed angrily.

"Aiiiie!" Conis suddenly shouted, "Chopper, your writing hand is hurt!"

The little reindeer stared at his right hoof, which still had a hole through it, "Oh no!" He cried, beginning to cry, "How am I going to do my schoolwork now?"

---

It was much later in the day. Gin and Chopper were wrapped up (Thanks to the doctor's handiwork), and Conis sat by Gin and Luffy as they all sat on a rather fluffy couch (that smelled suspiciously of Sake) as they waited for their friend, "I wonder what Sanji's planning. What would he need with Lucci?"

"He'll use him as a lawyer, like he's supposed to…" Chopper said, blowing on the bloodied bandage around his hand, "The question is, what legalities does Sanji need taken care of?"

Luffy scratched his head, not understanding what was going on, "I'm hungry, is there any meat around here?"

"So sorry, Master Luffy!" A butler cried, appearing out from behind a bush (And scaring Conis. "PERVERT!" She screamed, grabbing Gin for protective reinforcement), "I shall get you your meat right away!" And with that, the butler left. Luffy chuckled.

"I like being rich!" The boy said. Chopper sighed, mostly because Luffy wasn't the one who WAS rich. When the butler returned, Luffy began chowing down on the meat placed before him (on Chopper's hat. Obviously, the PET wasn't treated like a guest…). The doctor wondered when they were going to go home…

---

"Now," Sanji said, pulling out his normal, lower class, but MUCH better tasting cigarettes, and lighting one. He looked at the other four in the room: Lucci, Patty, Carne and Iceburg, "I bet you're wondering why I called you all here, aside from you, Lucci…" Sanji twined his fingers together, and rested his chin on his interwoven hands. Patty and Carne looked at each other with a question in their eyes, Iceburg crossed his arms angrily, and Lucci looked scared. Seeing as how no one answered the boy, he continued, "Lucci, I am sure you brought what I asked for, right?"

Lucci hesitated for only a moment, and Hattori sweat. After the men stared at him for a good minute, he finally brought out two papers. He placed them on the table before the men, and everyone got a good look at it, "Why…" Carne said, "It's the deeds to Galley-La Company and the mansion… Master Sanji?"

"I am writing them out to you guys…" Sanji answered before the question was asked. Iceburg's eyes widened and Patty gasped, "I don't want this… I never wanted all of this. I really am a kid… man… with simple tastes.

"Iceburg," Sanji said, handing the deed to Galley-La Company over to the man, who took it slowly, a smile on his face, "It now belongs to you. Patty, Carne. I… doubt the two of you will fight over co-ownership…"

"Of course, Master…" Patty stopped, and Sanji smiled, "Sanji-San… Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it…" The boy said, taking the deed and standing up, "But before I hand this to you, I need to hand something else." He snapped, and a woman came up behind them from the shadows, "Ah, Hina, you're quick, like I figured…"

Lucci gulped, and Hina cracked her knuckles, "Trying to harm Master Sanji. You're the lowest of the low, Lucci!" She applied her gloves, her eyes closed, "Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way…" She wasn't able to finish when she looked up, seeing as Lucci stood up and held his hands out, "Oh…" She said, looking disappointed, "You chose the easy way…"

The two walked out of the door, and Sanji laughed, "That's what I love about having personal police officers at your disposal. I'll miss it…" he looked down at Patty and Carne, and smiled sheepishly, handing them the deed, "Just a bit…"

"Come visit any day," Patty said as Carne took the deed and checked it over, to make sure it was legal, "You and your mother. To me, you two will always be 'Master Sanji' and 'Mistress Califa'."

"Speak for yourself," Carne interrupted, waving the deed above his head, "We got an entire mansion for ourselves!"

"Now our only problem is how to pay for all the servants?" Patty asked. Carne looked to Sanji to ask him for the answer, but the boy had already gotten to the door.

"Have fun!" Sanji said, "I'll see you guys again! Summer Vacation is up soon, I'll come visit then!"

"Master Sanji!" Carne cried as the boy jetted from the room and Iceburg laugh out loud, "Waiiiiiiiiit!"

---

It was a week from that day long ago. It seemed like forever since that day when Lord Sanjdi and the Dark Master Ginunous fought together to save Princess Conis from the Evil of all Evils, the Devil, Tako-Croc (Really, he was evil, even the DARK MASTER wasn't as evil as the Evil of all Evils). It was on this day that wedding bells rang through the entire Kingdom. Many people of the kingdom came to see the wedding festivities, including Straw Man Lewfy (who was a living Scarecrow), and Tiny Tiny… Tiny… The Priest, Ginni, held the service.

"Do you, Princess Conis Frillis Beautiga III, take Lord Sanjdi Ligor of the Ravenous Mountains, to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Ginni asked.

"I do," Conis replied, laughing at how girlish the name Ginni sounded.

"Do you, Lord Sanjdi Ligor of the Ravenous Mountains, take Princess Conis Frillis Beautiga III, to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Ginni asked, turning to face Sanjdi.

"I do," Sanjdi replied, chuckling at how he thought up Ginni's name.

"Then, you may kiss your new bride," Ginni said, scowling as he slapped his Bible closed. Sanjdi swept his arm around his new wife's waist and dipped her, "But not TOO much!" Ginni cried as Sanjdi started smothering the woman with kisses, who tried to get the man off of her only because she couldn't breath.

"That's so wonderful!" Sanjdi's mother, Karifa, cried, batting her tears away with a handkerchief, "I can't wait until my Sanji REALLY gets married!" Everyone looked at Karifa, and Sanjdi's uncle, Zeph, who had once saved the Ravenous Mountains by singlekickingly destroying 300 ogres who threatened the land.

"Ka… Karifa," Zeph muttered in her ear, "In a LARP session, you're supposed to act like your character. Right now, they ARE getting married, not… not get married…"

"Oh!" Karifa cried, not realizing it before. She then went into character and fixed her previous statement, "Oh! It's so wonderful! I can't believe he actually GOT married!"

"MOM!" Sanjdi cried, dropping Conis on the ground ("Ouch!" The princess cried). Lewfy laughed out loud and clapped at the entertainment, and Tiny sighed, "You know, you don't HAVE to be here, scarecrow!" Sanjdi shouted at Lewfy, "You COULD be somewhere else now, couldn't you?"

"Yeah," Luffy replied in between his laughing bouts, "But it's much better to be here!" Sanjdi sighed as Ginni helped Princess Conis up off the ground. LARPing sessions were hard to run through without hitting a few snags…

---

Meanwhile, all the way back in North Town, next to a Golf Course, a merman named Hatchi was watering the plants with the watering can that was borrowed by Conis and returned. It was around this time that Hatchi began hearing a strange buzzing in his ear. He looked up, and heard the sound growing as time progressed…

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hatchi stared as that casino owner from Rain Dinners fell from the sky, heading straight for the merman. The octopus stared at the man named Crocodile as his shadow covered the merman… At the last second Hatchi stood out of the way and the man with the Suna Suna Devil's Fruit landed facefirst on the stone walkway.

"Oh…" Hatchi murmured, staring at the unmoving character on the floor, "That's gotta have hurt…"

**THE END!**

---

You KNOW you loved it! Come on! Hehehehe


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